My last blog

Well this is my last blog entry I probably will ever write. To be quite honest I am only doing it to replace the one I missed a few weeks back. I really wish I was done with school for break now. It is too bad I have to go back for about a week then turn around and come home then go back ten days later and take a final. It is a hassle. School should just be finished for break on Thanksgiving. It only makes sense. I come home and go holiday shopping and put up the decorations and relax only to have to turn around and go back. Ugh... That would be nice, but I guess I am hoping for something unrealistic. Well shoot... I have a lot I need to get done today. I have two papers due this week, which sucks, and I have two exams the following week for which I haven't even done a single reading for. I am a little bit screwed I have to admit. I am so far behind in my online class too. I have a quiz in there this week that I have to do extremely well on, and I have a feeling since I have not done any of the readings for the class since oh I don't know the last exam, I am not going to do well. I think I am just really burnt out now. Everything gets thrown at you the last couple weeks and it is a bit too much. I just don't have the time or the effort to try and get it done. I shouldn't have slacked off, but I got sick, and just busy with other exams and papers that I just did not have time to keep up with all my readings for the last exams. Hopefully it won't show in my final grades. I really need a 4.0 this semester. The boost would be really helpful for my admissions to law school. If I don't do well on the Lsat then gpa is all I will really have, so it needs to continue to go up over this and the next semester. I am so tired right now, and the last thing I want to do is homework. I swear that always happens when I come home. I never get to just come home and relax and watch TV. There is always a pile of books sitting on the edge of my bed begging me to read them. Oh gosh.... Only a week left then I am about free besides that hopefully only one final I will have!

Off to bed

Well here is my last post for the week. I cannot believe I am already leaving tomorrow for Hawaii. It came so quickly. I literally have to be awake in five hours. I am not looking forward to that. I wish the flight could be later in the day, so I wouldn't feel so exhausted and rushed in the morning. That is always the worst. Having to wake up early, get everything together, and hurry up to the airport in all the morning rush hour traffic. I think the best time to fly is around noon. I hate the red eye flights too. Those just make you feel like absolute crap the next day. It pretty much ruins the whole first day of your vacation. I think almost every time I have had a red eye I have fallen asleep later that day in the hotel or cruise ship room. It kind of sucks. But I guess that is the only way to get across the country without having to pay for an extra night at a hotel. It is kind of a waste when you don't get in till around 9 at night then you just sleep there. Except I actually get to sleep, not have to dose off on an airplane squished between my parents and boyfriend. I am a little nervous for tomorrow's flight, just because it is so long and we are flying over the ocean. I will feel much better once I get off the plane and walk through the airport in Maui. The best feeling is when you pull up to your hotel. I have always been one of those kids who goes through everything in the hotel room. I check out all the cupboards and I explore every little area of the hotel. I do the same thing every time we go on a cruise ship. Even if it is exactly same as a ship I have been on before I just want to walk around and find new and different things. Maybe if I wasn't so scared of being away and alone from people I could be some sort of explorer. I think being an archeologist would be a pretty cool job. Just getting to travel the world and dig up history. I can't imagine the feeling you would have if you found something really interesting. Well I need to get some sleep now. I will be back to blog in a week!!!

The day has finally come

Well the day is finally here, I'm off to Hawaii in less than 24 hours. I absolutely cannot wait. It seems like forever I have been waiting for this day. I have to admit though, I am pretty scared to fly, especially over the water. O well... I guess there is nothing I can do about it if I want to go. I will be extremely excited the moment I get off the plane in Maui. It is too bad we have a layover. I like it better when I only have to deal with taking off and landing once. After this boring class that I am in right now, I am going to get some lunch, and load up my car. I only have two more classes then I am out of here. It sucks I am going to get home so late tonight though. I am going to have a lot to do. I just decided this class is probably one of the most boring classes I have ever taken. The entire time I just look at stuff online. Right now I am trying to find a house for next year. It is pretty difficult to find one. They are either too far, too much money, in a bad area, not enough bedrooms or bathrooms, or someone doesn't like it. I wish I was just really rich could afford a house right next to campus, tear it down and build a brand new one in the ways I especially want it. I have looked on pretty much every single website that could possibly list any house, but there just isn't much out there. I think this could be because a lot of people are still living in them currently for this year and they are just not up for rent for next year. And if they are up for rent, they want you to start paying rent right away, which I do not have the money to do. So, I guess I will just have to keep looking. I cannot believe I am already leaving for Thanksgiving break. My first teacher today was giving us crap for missing, but I e-mailed her back in March to maker sure it was not going to be a problem, and if it was I would not have taken her class. I guess first impressions are not always right. It will be nice to end that class. Today I was giving a presentation, and because I got something wrong she corrected me right in the middle. I thought that was pretty rude. I was already nervous talking in front of everyone and then she has to correct me in front of everyone. Ugh some people just have no respect. Well only about 5 hours left and I am off to Phoenix. I will write another blog tonight to update how my packing and stuff is going. See you all later!!!!

Good night!

I'm back again and I'm trying to type really quietly because my roommates are sleeping. I forgot to do my second blog today and I didn't want to have to get out of my bed again. It is such a hassle to have to do that because I am on the top bunk and I have to be really quiet and open the door and get my computer. It is just a big hassle. It is hard to type quiet, because then I have to type slow. Tomorrow is the big day. I have a presentation, then I turn in my big English project and then I'm off to Phoenix to pack and get ready for Hawaii. I cannot believe it is already here. It came so quickly. I was hoping it would come quicker back five weeks ago and now it is here. And then sooner than I even know it will come to an end. I am so tired tonight. I have been staying up way too late. I am not even getting a full nights rest of at least 8 hours. It has been more like 6 or 7. Sometimes even less. O well... I am going on vacation and I can catch up there. As long as my parents snoring issues don't get to me. That could really suck. They snore so loud I can hardly even fall asleep and once I do they often at times wake me up. I thought I was going to be in bed early tonight, but I had to work on my website some more and do all my citations. I think citations are the worst part of papers, because I think it takes so long. I have to find all the sources and information and organize it. If citations weren't in papers I think I would enjoy them more. I cannot believe this semester is almost to an end. It does not seem like Christmas will be here in almost a month let alone Thanksgiving next week! This semester flew by, one of the quickest. Next semester should be pretty good. I have always seemed to like the Spring semester more. Maybe there is more breaks or just more fun things to do. Who knows. But I think my typing is starting to get kind of loud, so off I am to bed. Good night!

What I'm Doing

So I just finished packing and I am already extremely tired. I guess I don't realize how annoying packing can be, especially when half of my clothes I am bring are still sitting in my hamper. I refuse to do laundry here because the machines really suck, so I often just take it home with me. So now I have to wait till at least 7 tomorrow night and do all my laundry. It is going to be a very late night. Then on top of that I have to be up the next morning by 5. Wow, I am going to be tired. Hopefully I just sleep on the flight. It is going to be a long one. Very Very long... We are traveling for over 8 and a half hours. That is more than I go to school in a week. I mean I haven't been doing much today and I am already exhausted. It could be too, because I just went and got the swine flu shot about three hours ago, so maybe that is what is making me tired. I think I like being able to have all my stuff at home and pack from there. I wish I could have just gone shopping and bought some new stuff for the trip, but Christmas is coming up, so I guess I just have to wait until then to get some new clothes. So for the rest of my night I guess I am just going to be finishing up any packing I do have left and to finish up my website. It is pretty much done, but I still have to cite some sources, put it up on Facebook, and make my cover page. Wow I can't believe I am finally going to finish it. I have been working on it for quite a while now. It will be nice to see the finished project. Let's just hope I get it done by 10 tonight. I want to get into bed and finish my movie. I am being a total geek and finishing the Lord of the Rings trilogy. The last one is on instant on Netflix, so it is the extended version which is 4 and a half hours. I have about one left, so hopefully I can finish it tonight. Tomorrow I should get a new movie sent to my home in Phoenix, and that way I can take it with me on my vacation. I will definitely need something to do on that flight. It sucks though, because I don't think my computer will last that long. If anything it will last for one movie, then its over with and dead. I think I am starting to ramble. Maybe it is because I am getting really tired. Well I will be back on here tonight writing another blog. I am trying to write two today and tomorrow so that I don't have to worry about doing any on the trip. If anything I will just catch up on some readings I have missed since I have been so busy with other stuff.

Compaints!

Good morning everyone. Today already looks like it may turn into a crappy day. I am pretty tired, stayed up too late last night, and now I am stuck in an extremely boring lecture. My professor is sick and instead of canceling class he has some annoying TA teaching the course like she actually knows what she is talking about. I had to sit over the class time in my first class and listen to my teacher rant and rave like she always does. I think it is going to be a bad day, because I want this week to be over with. I am so ready to go on my vacation and just lay out on the beach. Tomorrow I have to go volunteer... Then I have to drive all the way out to Oro Valley to deliver something. So tomorrow the day is pretty much shot. I am pretty hungry right now too. The food has been absolutely disgusting lately at my house. Literally we have potatoes for dinner tonight. A potato? Really? What a joke... That is what you get when you have a steak or chicken piece with it, not just a potato. Last night it was this nasty dry chicken with a can of tomato chunks pored onto it. I think for lunch today it is some nasty french dip. I can't even imagine eating the nasty meat from that house. Ugh... I can't wait to go home and have some home cooking or a nice restaurant. Hawaii is definitely sounding better and better every day it gets closer. Only three more days. It cannot come any sooner. You know what else bugs me? When I am doing stuff on the internet in class and the person next you is staring over my shoulder reading and watching what I am doing. I think it is creepy. I just want to push their face away and be like mind your own business. I feel like I can even change the page online, because they are watching it like a hawk. Wow... Today is just full of complaints for me. I think I need a break to lay down. After this class I get a nice lunch break for about an hour and a half. I am going to put on some comfy clothes, lay in my bed, and watch a movie on my computer for a little bit. Oh! I just thought of another annoying thing. I hate, hate the kids in class who always raise their hands especially in lectures to ask STUPID questions. It is usually the older people, or just some kid who really doesn't understand much at all. My eyes are slowly closing now. I am SO SO SO tired.

Tonight

This is going to be a quick blog. I am about to watch a movie and I completely forgot I still needed to do another blog today. I suppose I could miss it and make it up during Thanksgiving week, but I'd rather only have to do one that week, so I don't have to do anything on my vacation. I can't believe this semester is almost over. There is literally like two weeks of school left for me. I have this week, then the one right after Thanksgiving break. I finish my English final, take a couple of tests then I'm off to home for the break. I do have one final I have to come back for though, but I don't think that is really much of a big deal. I mean I do have to do pretty well on it to succeed in the class and get an A, but I am hoping it is possible. I have got to be optimistic. It is pretty nice right now. All the roommates are gone and I am getting to enjoy some alone time in the room right now. It is nice when everyone is away sometimes, because I can set the lights and air how I want and not have to listen to everyone else talk or accommodate for them. I need this week to go by fast. At least I don't have any exams this week, I just need to get some stuff going for my English project and I should be set. I already started the project and found some good images of tanning beds. I just need to put it all together now and figure out how I am supposed to cite my sources on there. I think if I work on it all tomorrow, and then finish up the rest on Tuesday it should be fine. I don't want to do anything on Wednesday but pack and go and get my pedicure. The last thing I want to do is scrounge for time trying to get last minute stuff done. I am doing no readings this week. I figure if I get all these big things done this week, then after this I have about three weeks to just catch up on some reading stuff. I am hopeful that I will be alright when it comes down to test time. This semester did go by pretty fast I have to admit. It is crazy that Thanksgiving is in less than two weeks. It was finally cold out today giving that winter feeling, although I am not a big fan of the cold. I was literally freezing wishing it was once again that 100 degrees outside. I think I would take hot every time over cold, except when I am sleeping. That is the worst when you are hot in your bed. I can't even cover up with my blankets when it is like that. Hopefully tonight will be a nice cold night, since it has been chilly outside the last couple of days.

Yesterday

So today is going to be a day of two blogs since I accidentally forgot to do it yesterday. It wasn't so much that I forgot, I was just extremely busy. I had to do the Catwalk, which I actually ditched midway through. The thought of walking three miles in the cold weather yesterday did not sound too appealing. After that I just relaxed for a little bit, failed to accomplish doing any homework, and probably spent over an hour trying to figure what the heck was wrong with my printer. It just stopped working, for no apparent reason. I became really frustrated. After that I went to go watch that awful football game. What a joke. I cannot believe we lost. We were so close, we had it, then we blew it. O well, maybe a Rose Bowl is not something to be hoping for this year. After that I just hung out at my boyfriends, and relaxed. It was a nice weekend. I didn't really have to get ready much, had a nice BBQ, and just hung out with some friends. Unfortunately it is about over and now comes the time where I need to get down and focus on all the work I need to do. I am so far behind on my readings, but I figure if I can get all these big projects out of the way this weekend, then hopefully I will have about three weeks to just catch up on the readings. Pretty soon I have to go meet up with my group and start on my project for that awful African class. I am not excited about that. After that teacher argued with me, I feel like I have no respect for the class anymore. I am a good student, and I know that. And when someone is just rude for no apparent reason except they have some sort of bitter chip on their shoulder it really frustrates me. It makes me not want to work as hard in the class, because I have no appreciation for it or the material any longer. At least it is almost over. What, like 4 weeks left? That is nothing. I just need it to come extremely fast and have it be done with. I leave for Hawaii in 5 days. I cannot wait to get away and do nothing. It should be quite the fun time!!!

School

Well today was an interesting day. I had some family issues I needed to deal with and luckily those are over. I had to drive a lot today so that kind of sucked. I think I am over the whole driving thing for the rest of the day. Plus I got up fairly early for how late I went to bed last night. Now I am trying to work on this English project since it needs to be completed before I leave for my vacation next week. I have come to the conclusion that making a webpage is actually pretty difficult. I thought I was the computer savy one, but it is pretty dang hard. At least I have gotten it set up and started to fill in some of the stuff for it. I think tomorrow and Sunday will be spending a lot of time on this. I also have to do my extra credit paper for my other class, and work on my presentation for my African one. Wow, everything is being crammed right up until the end. I can't believe I already leave for Hawaii in a week, then a week later I am back in school and after that week I am free, done, don't have to do any work whatsoever. I cannot wait. It can't come soon enough. I am a little bit freaking out though about all my classes having everything at the end of the semester. I am so far behind in my readings, it is pretty ridiculous. But I figure if I get most of these large projects out of the way, then all the extra time can just be spent catching up on my readings and what not before the exams start all over again. Tomorrow I get my grade for my exam that I took yesterday. I am a little nervous for that. I am just hoping I got a good enough grade so I don't have to walk away with a B. I think that would be pretty sucky in my opinion. I have done so well on the first two, so doing poorly on on this one would be pretty sucky. I just found another pet peeve of mine. I hate when people whisper in the room while I am sitting right here. The chances are that they aren't talking about me, but it is still irritating. You get this feeling that everyone is out to get you. Who knows... Maybe I am just paranoid. So this weekend I have it all planned out. Tonight is dinner and a movie. Tomorrow, catwalk, webpage, night time!. Sunday, Paper, and project. Monday, any of the stuff I didn't get done I need to work on. Ah now I am going to feel guilty that I am not working on it tonight. Ugh... School... Gets to me every time.

Some people...

Just finished my exam, and I already know that I missed a few. What a disaster. I really need an A in this class, and if one exam completely screws me over I am going to be so angry. I only have 17 points to spare in this class over this exam and a final of 80 questions. I think that sucks. If I do bad on on exam or project it completely screws me over and there ya go my grade is gone. I have kind of had a crappy day today. Yesterday was a much better day even though I spent the entire day studying for my exam and then get screwed over on some questions today. I decided one of my teachers is the most annoying obnoxious people I have ever met. She tries to make everything so difficult. I swear she puts herself on the same level as the students. I used to like the class, but now I have become so angry at her that I have grown to hate it. Today she started arguing with my group over our presentation day. We were going to switch days to accommodate another group, but it turned into some huge debacle. Ugh... I thought teachers were supposed to be professionals, not other students who you debate with. Thank goodness there are not many classes left. I almost took another class from her too. I can't even imagine having her again. And to think that she might write me a letter or rec for law school. What a joke. I think I became so mad about that it affected my test taking. I am pretty pissed that I already know I missed some questions too. That is the worst feeling when you know you are already in the whole, and that is without all the other questions I probably missed. Gosh I really hope I can still pull off an A. To get a 4.0 would be so great. I have been really trying for this semester too. If one or two classes screw me over I am going to be pretty upset. I guess we will just have to wait and see. This semester needs to be over! I need a few weeks off and I want to be able to go on a vacation and not have to worry about other homework or things I need to get done during the trip or when I come back. I just want to be able to go home without any books or notes or folders and just sit and watch TV and watch movies and relax with my family and boyfriend. Sooner than I realize it will be here. I guess it is just never soon enough for me though...

Daily Venting

I am getting extremely frustrated with my cultural psych class right now. It has been a week! A whole week, since I have taken my exam. And the big issue here is that it is scan tron. I cannot come to any reason why a scan tron test would take this long to grade and post, unless my grade for some odd reason just isn't appearing on D2L. Just what I need to deal with today. I mean I admit that there were a couple short answers, but only maybe a page worth. I even got back my other test today which was completely essays. It just doesn't make sense to me why it would be taking this long unless there were some serious issues with it or something. Ideally the best situation would be they lost all the test and we all get 100's. Like that would ever happen, especially to me. I think I am just not a very lucky person. Every time I get a lottery scratch ticket or something I lose. Even on my last cruise I put in five dollars into a stupid 5 cent slot machine and I didn't even receive a single credit back. What a joke... Well now I am starting to ramble. I just wish my grade would be posted so the pressure would be taken off my shoulder. I am just crossing my fingers that I did alright on it. I need a good grade on it, actually an A so that I don't have to take the final. That is the last thing I want to have to do, is take a cumulative final on the same day as another final. I just want to do well on this exam, then on my next three, get A's in the classes and just worry about one single final. That would be the ideal situation. I am trying, doing all the readings and what not, but it is starting to catch up with me I think. I am getting behind in my readings, especially in my online class. There is just so much of it, I mean over 100 pages total every day. I think that is a bit much. Sometimes I just have to relax and get away from it and now it is falling behind. I think it is alright though, I can eventually catch up. I can't believe we only have 5 weeks left of school. Thank Goodness!!!! I cannot wait for Christmas break and not have to do anything but relax every single day and enjoy my cruise coming up. I can't wait for that! Right now I am listening to an incredibly boring lecture about bias and prejudice. That is why I am blogging and venting. My daily vent once again.

Relaxing Night

Well here goes round two for the day. I am starting to feel better finally. I cleaned the room up today, vacuumed the floors, sanitized everything including my bed even. It looks pretty good and smells a whole lot better too. It is crazy how a little tidying up can make such a difference in a small space. I warned my roommates that next year when we have a house my room is going to be absolutely spotless. I think I get the clean freak from my mom. Always growing up I was told to pick up things and saw my mom constantly cleaning and vacuuming the floors. So I am used to it now, and always wonder how no one else seems to want to clean up. Some people live in piles of clothes and trash. It is just disgusting. No wonder I got sick. There were probably so many germs in this room. It was unhealthy. But now everything is clean, and it looks a whole lot better. I feel that I can just relax now and do my homework without worrying about stepping on food crumbs or hair being stuck in between all my toes. My feet actually won't get dirty now from just walking around. I even made my bed today, put my fresh sheets on and it looks really good. The only thing I didn't do was unpack my suit case with my winter clothes, but I still have no idea where to put them just yet. I don't even have enough hangers for them, so I am still waiting for an opportunity to do that. Maybe this upcoming weekend. I have no plans, and I have no exams the following week before I leave for my trip. Although, since I am going to be gone, I am going to need to do this English assignment a little bit early. I am excited to do this one though. It will be fun doing something different than just typing a paper. I think I am going to do a website, which should be pretty fun. That just reminded me that I think I am actually going to work on the memo right now, because I have an exam on Thursday and I really am not going to have time to do anything else. So I think that is what is up next on my list for the night. I am going to avoid a movie tonight, I don't really have anything in particular to watch anyways until my next netflix comes in the mail tomorrow. So tonight will be a nice night to get some homework done in advanced, even though I still have some stuff to make up, but that's alright. Good relaxing Sunday night. What could be better?

First blog

Well today is one of two blogs I am going to write. After being sick this past week the blogs just kind of went downhill for me. I forgot to write one both on Friday and on Saturday. I felt like crap on Friday and pretty much slept the entire day. If I tried to read the simplest thing my head began pounding. So luckily today I am starting to feel a little better, only after going through a whole box of sinus and cold medicine and two boxes of tissues. I am still stuffed up and to be quite honest the sound of doing homework sounds absolutely horrible. I am very far behind in a lot of my readings though, and I really really need to catch up. Luckily though I was feeling a little better yesterday and was able to get myself up and walk around the mall for homecoming and enjoy a nice game a football. That was a great game yesterday. We killed them. Although, I have to admit it was pretty boring. I think I would have rather it been a close game to build up the excitement a little bit more. By the end of the first half I think the student section was almost completely empty. It was pretty pathetic anyways. Right now I am just starting homework, pretty hungry, but waiting for my boyfriend to get hungry so I can go eat. Ugh... I hate waiting. The florescent lights were on this morning at 9 AM. I don't think my head can handle that that early. So as soon as my roommate leaves, off they go. I don't know how anyone can prefer that type of lighting over sunlight. Sometimes I think lights were a bad invention. I think I could possibly deal without them sometimes. So now I don't know what to get for lunch today. I am debating on either a sandwich or I'm not sure. I guess we will see. I am pretty hungry though, and I don't know how much longer I can wait. I don't know how anyone can wake up and not be hungry. I bet anything though, he is probably eating some granola bar or something and then he will claim he is not hungry. Ugh... This is why I just wish I had my own kitchen so I could just make my own lunch and not have to worry about going out and dealing with all the Tucson traffic just for a stupid sandwich. I think I need some time at home to have my mom make me food and I can relax and get healthy. Hopefully that comes up soon!!

Dirty Room

And another day has gone by. Another sick day for that matter. Here I lay in my bed sweating and surrounded by used Kleenex. This really sucks. I cannot figure out why the heck this stupid cold will not go away. I swear this is the worst cold I have ever had. I didn't get the extremely long hurting sore throat but geez... I sure have had this stupid running nose and congested head for days now. I really need it to go away soon, because I am getting so far behind in homework and my classes. I had to miss half of my classes today, because I was so exhausted and weak. I am barely able to right this blog right now, but I figured if I can get it done now, then I can take the day off on Saturday and avoid writing one. At least all my roommates are out for the night. I swear if they wake me up though I am going to be absolutely livid. I need a good night sleep. I have already taken all my sleeping meds so I am hoping I just get knocked out after this blog and sleep through the night and have a nice sleeping in time in the morning. I am going to be so mad if I get woken up tonight for some rare reason. I already felt like crap and had to pick up the room after my roommates. I swear, I feel like I am taking care of little kids sometimes. I don't understand how hard it is to throw away trash or pick up your leftovers you left on the table. Their parents must have never taught them any sort of manners, because it is just disgusting. Here I am, feeling like crap, just wanting to watch a movie on the sofa. The area is so disgusting, that I can't even sit there because I feel gross. I can't even use my own TV. Not even one that they brought because they have their crap all over the room including drinks being spilled on the coffee table that I bought. Funny how when its not their stuff they could care less. Heck they probably could care less about their own stuff, because they will just go out and buy a new one if it gets ruined. What a joke. People have no appreciation these days. One time I would like them to go live in some third world country for a while then come back and see how they treat theirs and others stuff. It is ridiculous. No wonder I feel like crap. The room is so gross and dirty and dusty. There are probably germs lurking everywhere in the room. Ugh!!!!

Still Sick, Very Sick

This is probably going to be one of the lamest blogs I have ever written. I have become so sick from today. I thought I would have gotten a little bit better after yesterday, but no I have just gotten much worse. A lot worse. I did nothing but lay in bed today. I tried to do homework and reading, but my head hurt so badly that I could not even read a single page. So now I am even further behind on my readings than I already was. This weekend, besides the game, I really need to catch up. I think Friday all day, until the nighttime, I am just going to work on my readings that I haven't done this week and the week before, and the week before that. Ah, it never goes away. I am so exhausted right now, and feel like absolute crap. I think I need to just stay in bed tomorrow, but that is not going to happen because there are attendance in my classes this semester and I cannot miss. So instead, I am going to come to school, and my germs are just going to spread. They tell you to stay home when you are sick, but then you lose points in class, so I don't really understand how I am supposed to get around that problem. I guess I will just go... It is not my fault then if someone else gets sick because of me, because you know what, I have no choice. I have to be there. I am crossing my fingers that I will be better tomorrow. I am hoping this is the peak of the sickness and tomorrow will be the decline. I have even become delirious. Tonight I asked my boyfriend in a text message if he was my favorite teacher? That does not even make any sense whatsoever. It is crazy, and so is my mood right now. I am getting pissed off quite easily, and all I want is to be at home in my big bed with my television and my mom bringing me soup and crackers every meal. Instead, I am forced to do homework, go to school, and many other stupid things. Ugh... I need to get better, and quickly!

Sick, Sick, Sick

Today I am very sick. I wasn't feeling very well last night and today I feel like utter crap. I had my two exams, which I did not feel very confident in after leaving both of them and I have had to sit through four long classes. My throat hurts, my nose won't stop running, I have a headache, my body aches, and my eyes hurt. I haven't had a cold in a while, but as far as I can remember I haven't had one this bad in a long time. Everyone thinks I seem uninterested in them today, but in reality I just don't feel well and do not care. I am doing absolutely no homework tonight besides this blog. Tomorrow I have to go and volunteer at a school, not to my satisfaction, and then I am going to go enjoy the first basketball game of the season. I am just so tired and worn down that all I want to do is have a day where I do absolutely nothing. No homework, no work, no gym, no nothing. I just want to wake up whenever I wake up, eat some food, lay in bed, and watch some movies until I fall asleep again for the night. Literally the last thing I want to do is go volunteer with some snotty 7th grade kids. I just need this long week to be over. I think this semester is finally getting to me. I am so over the workloads and the homework and the studying and the multiple exams I have every single week. I just need a break. I don't know how I am ever going to work. Having so much routine is going to kill me. I couldn't imagine not even getting the weekends off. I think I just want to be in kindergarten again. I go to school for a couple hours, then come home and my mom makes me some snacks, then I play dress up, and watch TV. What a great life that is. We are always in such a hurry to grow up and once we do we wish we could go back in time. I heard a good quote the other day about how we are dying to grow up, dying to go to college, dying to get married, dying to have kids, dying to work, dying to retire, and then sooner or later we are actually dying. I think I just need to focus in the moment I have and appreciate what is all around me, because one day either I or it won't be there any more and all that hurrying up will be for nothing, because it will be all gone. I really just want to stay a child, I think that would be a pretty fun life.

Today

Well today I started my studying for one of my exams on Tuesday. I think most of the day I tried to ignore the fact that it is approaching soon, very soon. Also, considering tomorrow I have to drive back to Tucson and spend a couple hours at chapter, my day is going to be cut quite short. Hopefully I have enough energy tomorrow night that I can manage to stay up later than normal and study everything I need to know. For some reason I am not stressing for my exams though, probably because the study guides are done and I have been studying quite a bit already. Today was a pretty good day. I woke up, had a nice homemade lunch and just spent some time with the family. I took my dog for his daily walk, I am hoping I have time for this again tomorrow. He loves to go on walks. All I have to do is walk to the drawer with his leash in it and he goes crazy. He jumps, and whines, and runs all over the place. For some reason walks are his favorite thing to do, and play with his Frisbee. Unfortunately though, I lost it today. I was throwing it to him and it went over the neighbors fence. I was pretty bummed, so I put a letter on the wall with some tape. I really hope they see it, or I am going to be pretty upset that I lost my dogs favorite toy. He literally gets so excited when we play with it, and if it is gone that is quite upsetting. What else did I do today... I think I just spent a lot of time relaxing and doing some homework. I can't believe how late it is already though. This weekend went by so quickly. Weekends always go by quickly, but considering I don't have that many left this year is crazy. I was counting today while looking at my calendar and then realized that I only have around three weekends left. This weekend is Homecoming, the next is a nice open weekend that I can catch up on some homework, then the following weekend I am off to Hawaii. After that is Thanksgiving, then one more weekend in Tucson, I take my finals early, and I am off to home for winter break. Winter break should be nice. I am going to do nothing, but watch TV and movies and relax. I wish it would come sooner, it is time for a big break.

Just another day

Well today was my first Halloween of doing absolutely nothing. I didn't hand out candy, didn't go to a party, or didn't hang out with friends. It was literally just another day for me this year and I don't really care. I think Halloween is pretty overrated anyways. I probably will feed into the whole scary movie thing considering I have already watched one the past two nights and tonight I am going to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas. Tomorrow is probably going to suck, because I have to start studying yuck.... I cannot wait till this semester is over and I can have a break from all my homework. It is going to be extremely nice knowing I don't have to do anything for a few weeks except vacation and spend time with the family. I have to admit, my blogs are starting to get pretty boring. I am running out of things to talk about, and I think I am getting too pretty repetitive with my complaints. There is never anything really new, and honestly I haven't done much in the past weeks to really talk about. I think in a few weeks I should have some more interesting stories, some about my vacations and what not. I cannot wait for my Hawaii trip. I haven't been there since I turned 10 so I have a feeling I am going to appreciate it quite a bit more. I can't wait to just lay out on the beach and have nothing else to worry about, well except that I have to come back to school and continue with finals and papers. ugh... It never ends does it? I think after graduation I will be in the clear, but nope then comes another three years of school, which is probably going to be a million times harder and quite a bit more work. After that, then I am stuck in the work force. Wow that is going to suck. Hopefully I can just eventually turn into a house wife and enjoy the life of doing nothing. I think today is going to end in a short blog because my computer is going to die any second now. I am going to go finish watching a movie and get something to drink and head off to bed soon. I hope everyone had a fabulous Halloween!!!

Halloween!

It is that time again of little kids coming to my door non stop all night trying to snag as much candy as possible. I remember the days when I used to be that annoying kid who would not leave the adults alone. I think I went trick or treating all up till high school. I know it is a little old, but we would just throw on some stupid costume and pretend we were out celebrating like every other little kid. Then we would take the candy to the football game at the high school and usually most kids would end up stealing it. What a waste... I remember though, being little, how fun trick or treating was. Just getting dressed up in a costume was so exciting. When I was really little, we would get to dress up at school and do a little parade for our parents showing off all our costumes. Then at night I would get all ready and dressed up. I even got to wear makeup, which I thought was pretty neat at the time. As I got a little bit older I was able to stay at friends houses over the night. Those were probably the best nights ever. We would all go out together and get our candy then go back to our friends house and count all the candy we each got. Then came the scary movies and ghost stories all night. Those were the days. As I got a little big older I did the stupid trick or treating. You know the kind where the kids roll up in roller skates and a big pillow case as their candy bag. I think one year my friend and I tried to make a haunted house. What a joke... It was so stupid. We thought it was pretty cool at the time though. It was sad once these innocent days of Halloween ended though. Even as I got older in high school it completely changed. No longer were we wearing princess costumes, but instead we were wearing little skimpy tops and short skirts. That was obviously the cool thing to do. I think that now that we are in college it has resulted in almost going naked. I think some girls actually do. It is too bad it has become like that. I wish it would be funny costumes and stuff, not really skimpy ones. Some girls are so bad about their costumes you can literally see their butt it is quite disgusting. I think that is why I am avoiding this Halloween season. Sitting at home and hanging out with my nephews brings back the old Halloween spirit. I am going to a corn maze tonight, a haunted one actually. It is going to be my dad, nephew, and I. It should be interesting, hopefully kind of scary. We will see!!!!!!

My Purpose

My purpose for writing about this social issue is because it is something that I have suffered through my whole life. I want to show my audience that it is not just some hobby or stupid thing girls like to do. Most of us are sucked into this because of the media and magazines that portray these images. We as human beings especially in American society like to be a part of things. We envy those who are popular when we are younger, high school, and even when we are older. We see the constant images of movie stars on television and in theatres and want to be them. Most of the times they are made up to look so perfect. We as just normal people who do not live the luxuries they have look up to them as role models and someone we want to become. This addiction to tanning is becoming worse, and it is sometimes unavoidable. It is almost like a drug now, and there are even medical people out looking for these implications. They are starting to find things that occur in our brain because of tanning. People have suffered from withdraws when they are not in a tanning bed or in the sun. We as humans have problems sometimes, and they are unavoidable. Just as people become addicted to alcohol or drugs or smoking the sun is very similar. It is doing something to our brains. It is causing us to want more and more of it. The problem here though is that there is a stereotype that we just do this for fun. We don’t care that we might have skin cancer one day, and we are acting in a stupid manner. The truth is most of us can’t help it. People are always looking down on others and we always want to better ourselves. If the media is showing that the best of the best are tan, then that is what we want to be. Most people don’t want to be white, because that is not what is “popular” right now. And the fact that it has even been proven medically that the UV rays are addictive makes it even more contradictory to the stereotype. We can’t help it! Maybe if the media were to change its view on skin tone then we wouldn’t need this craving of sunlight so often. In history people use to want to be as light of skin tone as possible. They would proceed to use leeches on their skin to suck out the blood to make them look pale. So even then people were subjected to ideas of what looked good or appropriate. Today it is to be tan. Therefore, every movie we see, every TV show, commercial, magazine, ad in the mall is trying to get us to join in on the tanning party. They advertise all kinds of make ups to make us darker and sprays and deals for tanning salons. It is always there trying to suck us in and we can’t avoid it.

Bad Day

Today I had a bad event happen to me. Something very personal and surprising. It has really made me lose my concentration and it happened right when I was trying to fix my paper. So I have a feeling my paper tomorrow is actually in worse condition than it was in my first draft. I think I am going to have some work to do this weekend. A lot of work. I have two exams on Tuesday and my essay due on the same day. On top of that at the school I have to volunteer at next Wednesday I have to make up some dance and dance in front of a bunch of judgmental middle school students. I am absolutely not looking forward to next week. It is probably going to be the worst week of this semester so far. Once it is over there will literally be a weight lifted off my shoulders. I will feel free and look forward to my upcoming vacation to Hawaii. I can't wait, especially because after that there is only about two weeks left of school and I am officially done with this semester. I hope next semester is not so overwhelming. I feel that I have so much work this semester it is ridiculous. There is so much reading. I think between all my classes I probably read at least 200 pages. There is so much I can't even comprehend everything I read. I am starting to get behind on things and it is causing me to freak out. Luckily I am going home this weekend, so maybe this will give me a chance to catch up on everything and be able to study for my two exams next week without and distractions. It will be nice to see my family too, and I hopefully will take my nephew to a corn maze Friday night. I am so tired right now and still upset about the news from earlier. I just need to finish this stuff and get some sleep. I am not even going to all my classes tomorrow I need to pack, and I have other things that I need to get done. O well, I think I can miss one, it won't be that big of a deal. Well good night everyone, hopefully tomorrow will turn into a positive day.

Going to kill D2L

I decided if D2L was a person I would literally kill him right now. I am so frustrated right now it is ridiculous. Where the hell are my classes? They have disappeared since this morning. Why are they not back up? They have had all day to fix this stupid issue. I mean com'on people have things due! I have something due tonight that is worth more points than I can miss to get an A. What a joke. If my teacher does not allow me to complete it tomorrow, I will literally be livid. Don't they have people that specifically work on this kind of stuff? Most likely no one is even looking at the issue right now because it is a Sunday. I highly doubt people are at school right now trying to fix this. It is bull crap because like me a lot of us probably have things due tonight! This stupid little thing is going to affect me, if I don't get an A in that class, then my GPA will not go up, then I can't get into the law school I want, then I can't get a job at a good firm when I graduate!!!!! I think is one of the maddest moments I have had in an extremely long time. I need to get out of this room right now and go vent somewhere else. Everything is now pissing me off. I think it is a good idea for everyone around me currently to stay clear of me, because I am not happy at all... I even finished my English essay early to post to my group mates today and I wasn't even able to do that. This is absolutely ridiculous. I don't understand what the heck is taking so long to fix this problem. If it was something that affected their pay they would be on top of the issue immediately, but they really could give a crap about us. I think writing this blog is just causing me to get even angrier. I just need to finish this up so I can get in my Pj's and get into bed and be the dork I am and finish Lord of the Rings. Maybe that will actually relax me a little bit. Maybe if I play a little Farmville my mind will ponder away from this stupid D2L crap. It is going to be a long week I think, with the amount of tests and homework I have coming up. I was just saying in my last blog how I need to avoid stress, and this is definitely a stressful blog right now. I need this week to come to an end pronto. I want to just go home on Thursday and hang out with my family. I am going to take my nephew to a corn maze, watch some scary movies, and prepare for the big week of tests following. Ugh it needs to come super soon!!!!

Stress

So I decided I just need to relax and forget about everything. I get so stressed out sometimes over nothing. I mean really, I am a 20 year old enjoying the life of college and no job. What could there even be to worry about? I get so worked up about the future. I mean com'on I am already worrying about two exams I have in more than a week. I think, oh shoot when am I going to have time to study for it? Am I going to do as well? Will I get as good of a grade? Ugh.... I get so worked up over it. Then I just get stressed over other silly things, like being homesick or worrying about what I am going to do in the future after I graduate. I know it is so dumb to get upset about things like that, but I really do. I just need to let it all go and stop worrying. Because when I worry, I stress. When I stress, I worry more causing more and more stress. It is just a cycle that continues and continues. If I just stop with the worrying all together then the stress should go away too. Today should be a worry free day. I am going to do avoid doing any homework and just take the day as it comes. My family is coming down for the game. I get to sit with them in the normal section at the football game, and they are going to take me to eat and shopping for a little bit. To me, that sounds like a pretty stress free day. Tomorrow on the other hand... We will have to wait and see. See, here I go again. I am already worrying about all the crap I need to get done tomorrow. I just need to forget about it all and think about the present time, not what is going to happen in an hour or two or tomorrow even. And if I am going to look at the future I should be happy that I get to go home in less than a week and see my doggies. So there it is... I am enjoying time with the family, and the dogs in a week. Stress free.... I hope so at least... The good part about not going home next week is I get to avoid stupid Halloween. I don't have to go out and spend over 50 bucks on some stupid costume I will never wear again. Instead I can relax at home and watch a scary movie or something. I might actually take my 9 year old nephew to a haunted corn maze. That should be fun actually. Halloween is such an over rated holiday though, a lot like New Years Eve. It is just a holiday for people to make money off of. Good thing I won't be participating in that besides a little haunted attraction.

Wow

Wow, I can't believe it is already the weekend. I think this semester has been flying by. But it scares me that it is going so quickly and we really don't have that many days left, because I have so much left in my classes. At least two exams per class, multiple papers, a couple presentations, and just a bunch of other readings and stuff. Here we go again... I already cannot concentrate. Living in a room of four people makes it really difficult to even listen to myself think. I am hoping that maybe I will have some alone time later today. I just want to lounge on the sofa and finish my movie with no one interrupting me. I get to go home in about a week, which is pretty exciting. I really miss my dogs and my big bed and TV, and just a whole bunch of other stuff. Woohoo, I just found out everyone is leaving. FINALLY some alone time!!!!! I can't deal with everyone's complaints today. I am just not in the mood for it at all. The worst is when I am trying to study or finish a reading assignment and someone brings up the stupidest comment and then everyone starts to laugh and elaborate on the topic. I am so uninterested that I find it extremely irritating and cannot participate in the fun. Tomorrow should be a pretty good day though. Another football game with the family. I get to avoid the student section tomorrow which will be nice. It is comforting to know that I actually get to avoid standing on my legs for three hours straight and getting shoved by a mass group of students who all seem to be taller than me and I don't think see me, or just don't really care. So, anyways, it will be nice to be in the adult section. I am lucky enough that my parents bought an extra season ticket that I can use whenever I want. I don't have to worry about sneaking up to sit with them, like I do at the basketball games. The best part too, I won't have to use those disgusting portable bathrooms. I think it is pretty lame that that is all they give us. It is just gross. The school is the one who talks about not spreading germs and coming to class sick, but then they make us use those nasty things. Those are probably one of the dirtiest things out there. I think the school sometimes forgets that we are the ones who make this school, without us there would be nothing. So now that I am alone, I can finally relax a little bit and catch up on some of the homework I still have not done. I swear it never ends, there is always something new I have to finish.

Volunteering

Hello everyone. Today was an alright day. I volunteered at the middle school right by the rec center, and it made me realize how lucky I am. Most of the students there were Hispanic and came from very low income families. I felt pretty bad leaving the school knowing most of them were off to bad homes and families. It made me sad to see the younger girls turn around and smile at me during class, and I knowing that I am only going to be there for a couple weeks. I think they get excited when someone young comes in to help them out. Then I feel guilty just turning around and leaving them. I bet they have that happen to them a lot. Finally someone comes into their life to help them, but then they just turn around and leave. The reason I am volunteering is honestly because I have to for one of my classes. I am almost to the point where I feel so bad that I might end up staying at the school for the rest of the semester just because I want to help out so badly. It was crazy how many questions these kids could have for one person. Where did I come from? What do I do for fun? How do I like school? What do I want to do when I am older? And I even got the, how old are you question, because I look like I am sixteen according to them. They were in awe that I was 20. Considering most of them were at least or taller than me. I asked one of the young girls where she wanted to go to school when she was older. She kind of shrugged her shoulders, as if going to college was not an option for her. Most of them barely could speak clear English. And many had shoes that were torn, or jackets that were ripped. They loved sports though. Especially pro football. One of the girls said she loved U of A football, but has never gotten to go to a game, only has seen it on TV. It is so sad... I wish I could just take them and hang out with them for a while and take them to do the things they have always wanted to do, but never got the option to do. I guess most of us don't appreciate how lucky we are. We have parents who care for us, most of us have some sort of money, at least to pay for college, and we have clothes that aren't ripped or torn. The kids were required to wear uniforms, most complained about. I think it is a good idea though, because it does not show their lack of money. Volunteering is something I have never really participated in. It makes me really appreciate what I have got. I actually enjoy helping out the kids, even though I am not a big fan of kids. I think I am something they can look up to and hopefully make even the slightest positive impression in their life.

Computer Geek

I just realized that I am a computer geek. Not only do I get excited when I get to smell a new electronic item straight out of the box, but how I get so excited when I get to plug something in new. I am a geek. That is pretty explanatory. Ever since I was little, I have enjoyed playing with electronics and computers. I think it may have to do with the fact that my dad is an electrical engineer so throughout my entire childhood I have been surrounded by computers and wires and cords. My mom hates it. Every little drawer or cupboard has some kind of cord shoved inside of it. I can not help it though. I find electronics so exciting. I am the kid in class reading about how to connect something through wifi with a spoofing program, or looking constantly about the new technology of laptops that is coming out. I already cannot wait to get a new laptop and I have only had this one for not even two years. There is a new Dell I want, it has a light up keyboard. I think that is pretty fascinating. I also saw that a new Microsoft program has been developed called 7. It sure could beat this Vista crap. Vista has so many problems it is ridiculous. Not only does it take over thirty minutes to start my computer up, but it crashes and freezes all the time. This was not a cheap computer either. It is too bad that after only a coupler years I already need a new one. I don't understand how they can create a program that is so flawed. I probably will have to deal with this one though until I graduate. I don't really need a new one right now, but to get one would be pretty exciting. Maybe at Christmas, my dad will surprise me with something. I feel like he does that a lot. I won't ask for something then all of a sudden their is some new electronic thing sitting in front of me. I always have to ask "what is this?" Eventually I fall in love with it and wonder how I could have lived without it. I don't think I would have been able to function before computers were invented. What would I do with my life all day? I would be pretty bored and honestly probably not be able to function. Computers are what this world revolves around now. I can't imagine going a day without computers in our society. This country would literally crash. People depend on computers for their jobs and school and pretty much to function in life. People even have computers on their phones now. They are with us 24/7. So yeah, pretty much I am a big computer geek. I am the one my roommates always come to when they don't know how to work something. I am kind of like that geek squad from Best Buy.

Another day

Well, the family is officially gone and now it is down to crunch time to try and catch up on everything I have missed in the past week. How I so wish it was a week ago right now. If it was I would be in Cabo. Even if it was raining while I was there I would take that over this. I really hate sitting in my stuffy room just working on readings and homework all day. It starts to get really boring. I get so distracted. I would much rather have actual homework over reading. I have so much reading between all my classes that after I am finished with it all, I hardly remember anything I read. I even start to get extremely bored with highlighting, so I eventually stop doing that. So that looks like what I am going to be doing for the next oh 48 hours. I have a Netflix movie waiting for me in my mailbox right now, but I know if I go and get it I will start watching it and blow off my work, which really needs to be caught up on. I am a little behind because of my vacation, but it was all worth it, just as long as I get everything done. This was a good weekend though. It was nice having the family here and meeting everyone else's families. It was also a good football game this weekend. It was pretty hot at the beginning but once it cooled down it ended up being a really exciting game. I have to be quite honest, after reading so much already this morning, my mind is already pretty blank right now. I really don't have too much to right about, and I guess because it is early I have nothing to complain about yet. I guess I could complain about something, I would really like to have my room to myself right now. I just hate not being able to set the air, or lights how I want them. There is always someone else who wants it differently than me, so being alone would be kind of nice. I feel like no matter what time of day it is there is always going to be at least one person in here. Next year will be better. Hopefully I will have my own room and bathroom. I am pretty tired right now too. I spent the last two nights in the hotel with my parents because I thought having a big bed would be nice. But when it comes to having two older people snoring at the top of their lungs all night, I would take the smaller bed. I have been waking up around four in the morning both nights now because of them either coughing or snoring or making some weird noise. I hope when I get to be that age I do not have to deal with that. It really sucks, I do not know how people can sleep with that. I am already worried about when I go to Hawaii and have to share a room with them four six nights. I think I will need to remember to bring headphones or ear plugs. Otherwise I am going to be falling asleep on the beach every day. So now I am debating if I want to continue doing my reading or take a break and watch my movie. Either way I am still going to have a lot of homework I need to get done. I swear it never ends. There is always something I can be doing. I really cannot wait until this semester is over.

Sports and Weather

Good morning everyone. It is finally the weekend, and finally a game day. Football games are probably one of the more fun things that goes on during college. I could not imagine going to a school without sports or fans that support it. Just waking up on a Saturday morning and seeing all the motor homes parked around campus, everyone wearing red, and hearing the band play is what makes a part of college so great. I guess I have always been into sports. Not so much playing, because honestly I am not very athletic, but watching I think is so much fun. It most likely started in high school because I was on the cheer squad. Therefore I was forced to go to every game, home and away. I learned a lot from just watching, and since then I have come to love watching sports, even on TV. I think college basketball is my favorite though. College football is fun, but sometimes the four hours it takes to go through one game can be a bit long. It also sucks having to stand up during the entire game. I think that is pretty bad when you have to be packed like sardines in hot sweaty weather with hundreds of drunk people around you. I usually tend to sneak off to a different area where I can at least sit down. That is the one good thing about basketball. I have always had regular tickets so I never have had to sit in the student section. I never understood what the point of standing up the entire time is. My legs get way too tired, and I just find it pointless. I think it is because the front row stands then from there every other row is forced to stand also. Maybe one day I should ask the front row to sit, so then everyone else will too. So anyways, I am pretty excited for the game today. We have had so many away games that I almost forgot it was football season. It is too bad it is going to be really hot out though. It is the middle of October, shouldn't it be getting cooler by now? I think every year it gets to be warmer and warmer later on in the year. Eventually the summers will be so hot no one will be able to go outside and winter will become our summer. I have to admit though, I do not really care for cold weather. Last semester I had an 8 AM and it was horrible having to get up when it is dark outside and walk completely across campus at 730 in the morning. I was always the weird girl who wore a snow jacket when it is 60 degrees. I think I get cold anywhere below 80 degrees. I think that is because I have lived in Phoenix my whole life. And I also think Tucson gets colder than Phoenix does. I mean that ten degree drop really makes a difference. I think around 85 is perfect.

Family

So today is the start of family weekend, a great time to spend with the family. It is an excuse to actually enjoy myself relaxing instead of going out. I was going to just go to my place for the night, but then I realized how nice it would be to sleep in a larger bed tonight. So here I am now with the family at a hotel just relaxing. I think I get too spoiled by my family. Most kids go off to college to grow up or mature and get away from their parents strict rules. Not me... I think I see my parents almost every other week. Between them coming down for the football games and me going to Phoenix for a weekend get away, I keep in contact with them quite often. I was never the type of kid who wanted to leave home and get away. I know some people who all they do is fight with their parents when they are with them. Going to college was a life saver for them. No longer were they subjected to arguments and curfews. They were free from it all. I guess I was just different. I always got along with my family, except for the few brat years I went through during middle school and early high school. Since then, I grew up, and have wanted to be around my family every second I could. I guess I always looked at it this way: friends and parties and all of that stuff are going to eventually go away. My family on the other hand will not. I know I can always go back to them if I need help with anything. I guess that is why I don't get upset at stupid girl things or friend things or anything like that. I just realize how superficial it all is, and come to the conclusion that my family is one of the more important things in my life. I just hope that when I become a parent my children will have this same respect for me as I have for my parents. Parents will always do anything for you. At least mine will. If I am upset, they are always there for me. Right now, I am enjoying sitting here completely. It is a great experience in life to have a well loved family.

What I've been doing

Hello again! It has been a while since I have wrote in one of these. I just got back in town last night. It was an extremely long day. I was up at six on the cruise ship, went and ate breakfast, and was off to the airport by 8:30. I left San Diego by 10 and was back in Phoenix by 11. I was so exhausted by that point I just wanted to take a nap, but some of my relatives came in town for family weekend a little early, so I spent the day with them. By the time I was actually able to get going to Tucson I was a mess. I was tired, my stomach hurt, and I was stressing about the test I had today. I started balling my eyes out when I had to leave. I think the lack of sleep was finally getting to me. Once I was off though I felt a bit better until about half way I thought I was going to get sick. Luckily I was close enough to Casa Grande and was able to pull in to the Wendy's there and sit for a little bit. Once I got back to Tucson all I wanted to do was go to sleep, but of course me being big on grades I forced myself to study till at least midnight. It was all worth it though. It was a great cruise. I did absolutely nothing the entire time. I pretty much ate, slept, and laid by the pool. The first day I laid by the pool I got really burnt, I think because I have not been in the sun much lately here. The burn was pretty bad and now I am facing the consequences of it. I am peeling, and it is disgusting. At least I got a temporary tan though. The five nights flew by though. It seems like I was just packing the night before to leave for the trip. I wish I could go back and spend another week there. Cruises are probably one of the best vacations anyone could take. I recommend it to everyone. The food is great, I slept great, I forgot about everything I normally would worry about, and it was just a good time. Luckily though I have another trip coming up in four weeks. I am off to Hawaii. That should be fun, something different. I have not been there in a very long time. So I think I will appreciate it this time. Until then I am back at school and I need to get back into the routine of things. I got my test over with today, and I hope I did pretty well on it. We will have to wait and see. Plus this weekend is family weekend, so that should be nice to spend some time with them. It is always nice to get away and go with the family for a little while. It should be a good weekend.

Movie Reaction

To be quite honest I thought the movie was a little bit slow. I felt that it had a decent plot and could have developed into a good story, but the narrating was monotone and seemed a little repetitive. Also, I am leaving for my cruise tomorrow, so I was a bit anxious to get out of class and drive back to Phoenix. The movie did allow me to see something I never knew existed. I know this was quite a while back, but I was completely unaware that areas in the South were in that extreme poverty. It makes me realize how lucky I am today to have what I have. It was really upsetting to see the young children especially. It even surprised me to see some of the people much older now still missing teeth and looking in bad condition.

I think when Barret asked the question about who should tell the story, I think she had two different ideas on the answer. I believe she thinks at some points the only ones who can truly tell the accurate accounts are those who lived it, and experienced the horrible times. I also think she believes her and the filmmakers are the only ones who can tell it to the public. She believes they are only ones who can get the story out to the public. If it were not for them then those who experienced it would not be able to have anyone to tell the story to and to get it out there.

Anxious for class to end

I really need today to be over. This class right now is horribly boring, and I am freezing, tired, and becoming very anxious to leave. I still have another 25 minutes, and each minute is seeming more like an hour. I think the time is going by so slow, because I want to go home very badly. I am leaving today, unfortunately I won't be home till at least seven. The traffic getting out of Tucson around five is really bad. I think it takes me over a half an hour to get from Cherry to the freeway. What a joke. It would be nice for one day that I chose to go home I could get to the freeway in less than ten minutes. I mean it is only a couple miles. It should not take thirty minutes. Sometimes the traffic gets so bad that even if the light is green I cannot move forward because it is so far backed up, that I would get stuck in the intersection. Anyways, at least I get to leave. I only get to stay at home for a night though, then tomorrow becomes an extremely early morning. I am leaving for my cruise tomorrow and our flight leaves around 8. That means with being an already 45 minutes away from the airport and with rush hour traffic and having to be at the airport at least an hour early because of the security issues, I am going to have to leave by 6:30. To me, that is pretty early. I don't like to wake up past 10 hardly ever. Plus I still have to get some stuff together and get ready, which means I am going to be awake at like 5. It is going to suck, I will need to get into bed early. I am pretty tired today so I do not think that will be a problem. I had the most difficult time sleeping last night. I think our house mom turned off our air conditioning because it has managed to be under a hundred degrees outside now. So I guess according to her we don't need air anymore. Plus I had soda yesterday and for some reason that seems to keep me up all night, plus all the M & M's I consumed all night. So I did not even manage to fall asleep till around two and was awake around eight. So I am pretty sleepy, but at least I did not have any exams this week. I also managed to get most of my homework done for the next week also. I decided what I did not do, I could finish it later, it is just readings. Anyways it will be really nice to sleep in my big bed tonight and watch some TV before I go to sleep. Hopefully I will catch up on it so I am not tired tomorrow. I have to be ready for my cruise! I cannot wait!

Having things we can't get

Have you ever wanted something so bad but it just seems completely unrealistic to get. Well that happened to me today. I saw an article on MSN for teacup piglets. They are the most adorable things I have ever seen. I desperately want one, but I know that will never happen. Plus, what the heck do I do with a pig when I am in college? I could let it frantically run around my sorority, but I think the rest of the girls in my house might disapprove. The little pigs are so adorable though. They are smaller than a cup of coffee. They only grow to be like a foot tall. It's like have an extremely cute puppy the entire time it grows up. We say my puppy at home kind of looks like a pig. He doesn't really have a tail, he is spotted like one, and he has the ears. His fur is especially like a pigs. Its very thin and just looks like one. Besides the pig there are always something that I want that I just can't have. I think it would be fun for one day to just have all the money in the world and be able to go buy anything I want. Too bad that is extremely unlikely to happen in my lifetime. I think even people who could possibly have everything already are still searching for something else. We as humans have desires and we are constantly trying to fulfill them. There is always something new and better out there that we want. It must be really horrible to be those that can never have anything they want, let alone food. I think the people who cannot afford anything don't even think about still material items. They think about how to survive. For them a day with food is lucky enough. For us we need three meals a day at least. If we don't have that, then it really really sucks. I could not imagine being homeless or poor or anything like that. Imagine living on the streets is absolutely awful. Not being able to ever take a shower, or have clean water. I just cannot imagine how these people do it. It is really unfair that there are so many wealthy people out there who can get anything they want. They could care less about the people who can't even eat. It is really really sad. I just hope that one day if I have enough money, I can help those out who really need it.

What to talk about

I want to talk about the effects girls have, especially throughout high school, that other girls cause them to have either by peer pressure, meanness, seclusion, or popularity contests. I want to talk about how girls are picked on emotionally throughout their teenage years by even their friends who all want to be better than each other. Girls at this age are mean, and they enjoy getting satisfaction from being mean to others.
I need to talk about the racial prejudice that Arab Americans face in society today. Ever since 9/11 people who are Arabic have faced difficult times in America. It is hard having a family from the Middle East and listening to people in the same room as me say they would like to blow them off the planet. People are so ignorant, and only take on views of what the media or their friends tend to believe.
I think I should talk about the differences between the rich and the poor. I think it is horrible that there are people out there with absolutely nothing, and then I hear the story about the girl who just lost her four thousand dollar purse. I think the poor get ignored too often, and it is something that should be talked about.
This would be difficult to address all these topics, because they are so different. The only things they have in common are that in each of the situations people are feeling physical and emotional stress. From the example about the girls, they are being picked on causing them emotional problems. The Arab Americans are facing prejudice causing them to feel terrible about themselves. And in the poor issues, the poor are suffering a great deal emotionally because they are doing extremely without much.

I would have to say a in the category of power and lack of power I have sometimes felt that it resonates to me. When I talk about power though, I am thinking about power meaning money wise. I am not rich at all, and when I come across some students or friends who are I tend to feel powerless. It sometimes sucks to not be able to go buy something expensive or even know what a particular brand is, because I cannot afford it. To me, getting something new, even if it was extremely cheap is a big deal. I think the first moment this really happened was when I came to college. In high school I was considered rich, but coming here with many kids from out of state, I felt they were the ones with the power. I felt powerless. I think one scene that really stands out is when I showed someone something I bought from a cheap store. Not only did I get a look of disgust, but also a comment that lead me to feel powerless. It was in my dorm room freshman year. I was excited to get a pair of white shorts from Old Navy. I thought they were really comfortable and of course they were really cheap. After I was excited I got them, I looked at my friend and took them out to show her. The look on her face was disgusted. She said “I would never shop there.” Not only did my feelings become crushed, but I felt like she was in power. I did not know what to say, so I just slowly turned around and walked away. That feeling that I was weak, and could not afford what the rich and powerful could was terrible. The look she gave me made me feel worthless. I never knew it was such a big deal to buy a pair of shorts that were not a hundred bucks. After that I began to notice it more. I saw more kids had more than me. I knew more meant power, and less meant powerless.
I would be able to look up statistics of different universities to see the economics each have. I have a feeling the less prestigious universities may be the ones with more money. The ones that won’t have as much would be where more minorities attend. I would specifically look up the economic statistics at my University. I could even survey the people I hang out with, to see how much of an impact they actually have over my power depending on their income source. It would be interesting to see some studies on the influence of money on power. Does money really create power? I am sure there are some psychological studies out there answering this question.

Grumpy Day

Well I am going out of town this Thursday, where I will not have any internet access, so I am going to be writing a couple blogs a day for this week. Today has started as a kind of crappy day. Not only did I have to come back to my twin bed, dirty room, I got stuck in the worst traffic. I saw the sign when I was driving in Phoenix that said it was going to take me over 50 minutes to go about three miles. Great... So I sat for over an hour in bumper to bumper traffic with an old lady behind me honking that I was not scooting up far enough. I guess according to her I am supposed to be hitting the person in front of me. She honked and through up her arms, cut me off, then decided to slow down and drive in the slowest lane. I do not understand some people. I cannot come to terms why they think it is fun to go fast and cut me off, but then decide they want to slow down and get behind a semi truck. It just does not make sense. Anyways so it took me almost three hours to get from Phoenix to Tucson which normally only takes me two at the most. What a waste of my time. So I did not get back till extremely late last night, pushing off my homework even later. I had to stay up till one in the morning, and still did not complete everything that was due today. I finally went to bed, passed out, I was extremely exhausted, but then managed to have dreams about my homework and Netflix player. I was so excited when I got the player but now that I am using the schools crappy internet it won't work. I can't use UAwifi, because it won't allow me to enter a user ID and I can't use UApublic because I can't hit the stupid accept button. What a bunch of crap. I swear, this school sometimes tries to do the dumbest things to make everything so complicated for students. So now I have to figure out some other alternative. So now today has started, I'm tired, woke up stuffed up, and just plain grumpy. I think people are starting to notice it too. I can't even get myself to give a friendly hi in the morning. I would rather just put my head phones on and not talk to anyone. This cruise cannot come any sooner. I need to get away from everyone, my phone, the internet, school, just everything. I cannot wait.....

So today was kind of a frustrating day. Not to the point of being a bad day, but just a little frustrating. It started off pretty good but then led to stress about my homework I needed to complete. I managed to make a large list of what I need to do, and it has become a huge problem. I am quite frustrated with home much reading I am assigned to do. I find it very difficult to understand how teachers think it is perfectly fine assigning over a hundred pages to be read by the next class. I do not really get what they are thinking. I guess they would rather assign readings than teach us. So after I became bitter about my homework, I had to take my first exam for my online class. Completely sucked... I knew most of the answers because it was open note, but it was timed, so by the time I found an answer I needed I had already used up like five minutes. Then it came down to one last long essay question. Of course I had no clue what the question was even asking, so I freaked, made up something from the book in hopes I will get some points. It sucks because this class is only such a small amount of points. If I miss hardly any I will already be down to a B. It's kind of lame. If you get a 90% then I still get a B, not an A. I don't understand that. An A is an A. Who said that people can just create what percentages are certain grades. I think it is absolutely ridiculous. O well, what can I do. I guess we will just wait and see how I did, in hopes I did not lose too many points from the essay question. I really need that A, I need all A's this semester if I want to get into a good law school. It really will suck if the reason I don't make it into a good law program is because I got a B in one online class because of an essay question I could not figure out. The other problems I had today include that I have to go back to Tucson tomorrow. This weekend went by so quickly and I can't believe I already have to go back to school. Yuck.... But! The good news is I get to turn around and leave again on Thursday for my cruise. I cannot wait to just sit out in the sun with no worries and bake. So for now I guess I will finish up as much reading as I possibly can. I think my mind is fried from reading and studying so much this week. Then I will get to play with my doggies for one last time. Sad...

Great Day

I went home this weekend, and it was greatly needed. Sometimes I just need to get away for a while, and relax in the comfort of my room and family. Being around the same people constantly starts to get on my nerves and I eventually just want to punch the wall. So coming home is a nice break to get away from it all. Next week I am actually going on a cruise. I am quite excited, a little worried about missing class, but I think I have it all worked out. So pretty much I get two weeks of relaxation and get away time. When I come home I literally do nothing. I sit around, hardly change out of my sleeping clothes and watch hours of television. Where I live at school I don't have cable so it is extremely nice to come home and catch up on everything I have missed. Anyways, today has been a pretty good day. I got to catch up on some sleep and sleep in without anything or anyone to wake me up. I then got a lot of homework done that I have been stressing about. I did not think I was going to have time to get it all done, but it turns out I have been pretty time efficient. So after I did my homework I played with my dogs. This is probably my favorite thing to do when I come home. Not having a dog around at school gets pretty quiet and lonely I think. Last night my dog got hurt though, I was pretty upset. He seemed to be doing better today though. After I played with all four of them I relaxed some more and enjoyed running a few errands with my family and a nice dinner. I like to come home and spend time with the family. It is nice to have someone spoil me once in a while. Even if it is spending time at Target or a grocery store with them I pretty much enjoy it. I got a nice dinner tonight; some shrimp and a sweet potato. Definitely better than the fried chicken and mush I get weekly at school. Then I came home finished some more homework, watched some TV with my mom and now just finishing up this blog. Pretty soon I will get into bed early compared to my 1:00 am time at school. I am going to enjoy a movie, not sure which one yet and let the nice day come to an end. Ending my day and night with a movie and bed is pretty relaxing also. It allows me to just forget about everything. I just watch my movie, and blank out all my thoughts about school or homework or everything else bothering me. Now I just need to finish the rest of my homework for this weekend, so I can enjoy my cruise to the fullest next week. So good night everyone, hopefully you had as great a day as I did today.

Feeling Guilty

I was just reading other peer's blogs and have come to the conclusion mine is the most random pile of complaints out of everyone. Everyone else seems to just talk about stuff that we went over in class or something that is inspirational to them. Mind is pretty much about nothing... I guess I am just not meant to be a great writer, but that is alright, I love to just let out all my feelings on here. I think this helps me avoid complaining to my roommates and family. When I start to complain to them, I think they start to tune me out and I end up just complaining to myself. I also have a problem with needing reassurance. Whenever I have homework and I do not do it, I start to feel guilty. I worry it is going to pile up, then it will overwhelm me, and then I won't have time to prepare and study when it comes to an exam. I am going to be extremely overwhelmed this week. I am trying to complete all my readings and homework this weekend for both this week and the following. I am going on a cruise next week and the last thing I want to do or worry about is homework. I mean com'on who wants to do homework when they can be enjoying themselves eating or laying out in the sun. I would rather not. And I have come to the conclusion that even if I bring my homework, I know I will not work on it. There will always be something else that will seem better. So in that case, I just need to finish it before I go, so I don't have anything to worry about. Good idea huh.... Let's just hope I finish it. I feel so guilty that I am even on my computer right now and about to go watch a movie instead of finishing my readings. I get nervous that I might forget to do it or something. Who knows... Hopefully I will get it done. I am at home this weekend, and I also tend to not do homework here either. It is kind of like a mini vacation, where I feel like I don't have to do anything. Well hopefully, I am extremely bored tomorrow and I just do my homework. I will cross my fingers.

Good Day

Today I had a pretty good day. There was no particular reason why, and I didn't haven anything great really happen. If anything did happen it was probably kind of bad. I have two exams coming up on Thursday, and for some reason I am not that overwhelmed. It is probably due to the fact that I spent this entire weekend consuming my time to making study guides. It is nice not having to make the entire study guide a day before the test. Now I can just sit back and relax, and look over the notes a few times. What a relief. I also think I had a good day today, because I am going home on Thursday. I have not been home for a few weeks, so it will be a nice break away from the twin bed to my full size with my TV. I also got good news. Well it seems pretty silly but it is good news to me. I have a Netflix account, and I always watch the instant movies on my computer. But sometimes I think it would be pretty nice to be able to watch them on the TV. The last few times I have tried to watch them on TV, I have had to hook my computer up to the TV and that definitely a big problem. I had to use one of those HDMI cables and jeez are those hectic. I try to plug it in then it doesn't show up on the screen, then my computer screen gets screwed up and it just turns into a huge problem. So I e-mailed my dad today and he told me he ordered me one of the instant players. So now I just go online and add them to my instant area and instantly I can get them on the TV. I know it is kind of lame, but I found it to be pretty exciting, because I am such a huge movie buff. Movies are probably one of my favorite things to do when I am relaxing. Some people like the internet, some like books, I like movies. I think I could live with out the internet if I could just own a bunch of movies. Netflix has become my new favorite thing. I am supposed to get the player this weekend, so we will see how it turns out! Other than that excitement my day has just consisted of school and studying. I am preparing for these tests pretty far in advance. I really hope it pays off. That is the worst when I put so much time and effort into studying and then I get a bad grade back. Just like my online class, I have done all the readings and discussions, and I take a quiz and do horrible. I do not understand how that happens. Well now that I have rambled about some stupid player I have to get back to work. Hopefully I can study enough tonight, that I do not feel extremely overwhelmed tomorrow!

Commonplaces

There are many commonplaces in my life. For instance I think a big one is the negative stereotypes on Muslim Americans and Middle Easterners. The commonplace idea here is that Middle Easterners are terrorists. I think this developed from the attacks on September 11th. Due to the fact that those who attacked were Muslim, people just assume that the rest of Muslims are the same way. I have to disagree with those though, because I have a father from Iraq and his family is from there and they are absolutely the furthest things from terrorists. I hate when you walk around and see a lady with a scarf on her head and you hear someone talk behind her calling her a terrorist. This is the same thing that happened to Jews during WWII, and those who were believed to be a part of the communism scare.
Another commonplace I find quite often is that the wealthy are rude and arrogant. Of course this is true sometimes. I believe some celebrities to be rude and arrogant and that they demand way to much respect just because they are famous. But I also have to disagree, because I know many people who are of wealth and they are the nicest most generous people out there. I think this rude and arrogance ideology has developed from the media portraying celebrities and other rich people to demand more than what I can even imagine and not give any away to those in need. It is hard to think of wealthy people as “good” when they have so much and others have so little. I tend to think why don’t they share it with others, but then again they have their reasons. But then there are those who do share their wealth, and are respectful, and honestly do not flaunt their money at all. So I would have to disagree that all wealthy people are “bad.”
I also believe a commonplace is that smart people are nerds. I find this hard to believe, because I think being smart is actually a good thing. I remember in elementary school, the students who were smart and scored well on exams were nerds. People used to make fun of them for doing well. I think this commonplace is more common with younger generations. I believe as we mature and get older we see that being smart is a good thing. Now that I am in college being smart is something we as students all try to strive for. We know if we are smart we will get a better job, earn more money, and succeed more easily throughout life. But for little kids, being smart makes them a dork. I remember doing well in class, and not trying to tell anyone, afraid I would get made fun of. Today though, I am glad I am smart and will gladly flaunt it around.
Another commonplace is the idea that the poor will never succeed in life. People assume that if someone comes from a bad or low income neighborhood they will most likely never succeed. They see the horrible schools children are put into, the amount of welfare that is dispersed in these areas, and that lack of parenting that many parents give because they are too busy on drugs or trying to find a job. People believe that these low income generations will have more kids and then those generations will grow up to be the same way. It is hard to escape these circumstances, and many think most never will. I have to agree to this in some extent. Lower income families just do not have the resources that a middle or upper class family gets. It is hard for them to get through school and make it to college like most of us are lucky enough to do. I do have to disagree somewhat though. There have been times when I hear of the girl who had no parents and was able to do so well in high school she received a full ride to Harvard or some other Ivy League school. So it does happen, and kids can succeed. So to say that all the poor will not is false.

Another Long Day

I honestly could not tell you what I did this weekend. It went by so quickly, and all I think I really did was huge amounts of homework. Today I literally woke up at 10 am and started doing homework. Now it is midnight and I am still not finished. I worked on two study guides, because I have two exams on the same day on Thursday. That is the worst possible thing that can happen. It is like have finals, but even worse, because on top of those tests you have a bunch of other readings and homework. I am like a huge ball of stress right now. I only took three total breaks today. Two to eat and one to eat a snack. Wow am I exhausted now. All I want to do is go get into bed and watch a movie. It is a little late for that now though, it is way past my bed time. I cannot wait till these exams are over. They are seriously the death of me. The study guides were ridiculous. One of the ones I had was over 15 pages long. It was compiled of over 21 chapters from books and each chapter included over a million questions. Okay, not really a million, but at least four per chapter. That is so much stuff to do. On top of that I had to do a bunch of other stuff. A ton of reading for other classes, and writing works for some others. I think my brain is fried and I cannot do any more. I need a good night sleep. Luckily I have the day off tomorrow, but I still have a bunch of crap I need to get done. I still have to go to the library and do some silly assignment in place of my class that was canceled last Thursday. Then I need to go to the gym, because that is my stress reliever. Without the gym, I will be pretty cranky tomorrow. Then I have chapter for my sorority, which takes up a big chunk of my night. Then I have to read for English, my sociology class, my social class, and my African studies class. Geez... I keep thinking I am done with stuff and then more stuff comes up. It really sucks. When am I going to get a break???? Then I look at my schedule for next week, and I have a ton of homework to do then also. Great.... It is going to be a long week! But then I get to go home Thursday! Cannot wait till that day is over.

People Today

I have come to the conclusion that I tend to use this blog as a complaining device. Rather than annoying friends or my family, I just write all my thoughts out on here. Today I just want to talk about how people are so annoying sometimes. Like when you are walking and someone does not hold the door open for you. Or if you are driving and people tend to just think it is okay to cut you off or ignore using signals all together. People in today's society really only care about themselves, I come to that conclusion. Most people are out for themselves, and could care less if they affect or help any other person. People in general I find to be rude. Occasionally you will meet someone who is actually nice, but in general if you don't know them they tend to not give the slightest care about you. People will chew with their mouth open, make messes, cut me off, ignore me, and are just plain rude. I don't understand today's society. What happened to the days when everyone did everything for everyone else. I find that we don't have any sort of a community anymore. Our country has become so individualistic that the idea of helping out someone is completely absurd. It is pretty sad that I cannot even leave my door unlocked any more because someone will come in and steal things or who knows, try to kidnap me. I can't go anywhere alone at night anymore, because someone might try to do something to me. It's pathetic that we as humans cannot do certain things because of the threat of others. What happened to the days of little kids going out bike riding by themselves. Everything has changed, and in my opinion for the worst. People are becoming more afraid of everything. We are more controlling, and protective of our family and property. Letting someone borrow a shirt is even not a good idea, because you won't know if you ever will get it back. It is sad. Sometimes I wish I could go back in time to when things were simple like this, and I didn't have to worry about such silly things. I am afraid it is just going to get worse too. Our society is changing and so are our younger generations. People will become so into themselves that helping someone will be completely disapproved. I myself am even afraid to help someone. I am afraid that if I give money to the homeless man on the street he will just go and use it for drugs. I am afraid that if I walk my dog at night someone might try to rob me. I am afraid that if I approach someone I do not know they will pull out a gun and shoot me. Call me paranoid, but I think most people have to agree that our society is not what it used to be years ago. It has become a very scary world, and people are constantly changing into this awful direction. Hopefully the younger generations can make this change. Unfortunately, it does not look like it is going to happen though.