Just another day

Well today was my first Halloween of doing absolutely nothing. I didn't hand out candy, didn't go to a party, or didn't hang out with friends. It was literally just another day for me this year and I don't really care. I think Halloween is pretty overrated anyways. I probably will feed into the whole scary movie thing considering I have already watched one the past two nights and tonight I am going to watch The Nightmare Before Christmas. Tomorrow is probably going to suck, because I have to start studying yuck.... I cannot wait till this semester is over and I can have a break from all my homework. It is going to be extremely nice knowing I don't have to do anything for a few weeks except vacation and spend time with the family. I have to admit, my blogs are starting to get pretty boring. I am running out of things to talk about, and I think I am getting too pretty repetitive with my complaints. There is never anything really new, and honestly I haven't done much in the past weeks to really talk about. I think in a few weeks I should have some more interesting stories, some about my vacations and what not. I cannot wait for my Hawaii trip. I haven't been there since I turned 10 so I have a feeling I am going to appreciate it quite a bit more. I can't wait to just lay out on the beach and have nothing else to worry about, well except that I have to come back to school and continue with finals and papers. ugh... It never ends does it? I think after graduation I will be in the clear, but nope then comes another three years of school, which is probably going to be a million times harder and quite a bit more work. After that, then I am stuck in the work force. Wow that is going to suck. Hopefully I can just eventually turn into a house wife and enjoy the life of doing nothing. I think today is going to end in a short blog because my computer is going to die any second now. I am going to go finish watching a movie and get something to drink and head off to bed soon. I hope everyone had a fabulous Halloween!!!

Halloween!

It is that time again of little kids coming to my door non stop all night trying to snag as much candy as possible. I remember the days when I used to be that annoying kid who would not leave the adults alone. I think I went trick or treating all up till high school. I know it is a little old, but we would just throw on some stupid costume and pretend we were out celebrating like every other little kid. Then we would take the candy to the football game at the high school and usually most kids would end up stealing it. What a waste... I remember though, being little, how fun trick or treating was. Just getting dressed up in a costume was so exciting. When I was really little, we would get to dress up at school and do a little parade for our parents showing off all our costumes. Then at night I would get all ready and dressed up. I even got to wear makeup, which I thought was pretty neat at the time. As I got a little bit older I was able to stay at friends houses over the night. Those were probably the best nights ever. We would all go out together and get our candy then go back to our friends house and count all the candy we each got. Then came the scary movies and ghost stories all night. Those were the days. As I got a little big older I did the stupid trick or treating. You know the kind where the kids roll up in roller skates and a big pillow case as their candy bag. I think one year my friend and I tried to make a haunted house. What a joke... It was so stupid. We thought it was pretty cool at the time though. It was sad once these innocent days of Halloween ended though. Even as I got older in high school it completely changed. No longer were we wearing princess costumes, but instead we were wearing little skimpy tops and short skirts. That was obviously the cool thing to do. I think that now that we are in college it has resulted in almost going naked. I think some girls actually do. It is too bad it has become like that. I wish it would be funny costumes and stuff, not really skimpy ones. Some girls are so bad about their costumes you can literally see their butt it is quite disgusting. I think that is why I am avoiding this Halloween season. Sitting at home and hanging out with my nephews brings back the old Halloween spirit. I am going to a corn maze tonight, a haunted one actually. It is going to be my dad, nephew, and I. It should be interesting, hopefully kind of scary. We will see!!!!!!

My Purpose

My purpose for writing about this social issue is because it is something that I have suffered through my whole life. I want to show my audience that it is not just some hobby or stupid thing girls like to do. Most of us are sucked into this because of the media and magazines that portray these images. We as human beings especially in American society like to be a part of things. We envy those who are popular when we are younger, high school, and even when we are older. We see the constant images of movie stars on television and in theatres and want to be them. Most of the times they are made up to look so perfect. We as just normal people who do not live the luxuries they have look up to them as role models and someone we want to become. This addiction to tanning is becoming worse, and it is sometimes unavoidable. It is almost like a drug now, and there are even medical people out looking for these implications. They are starting to find things that occur in our brain because of tanning. People have suffered from withdraws when they are not in a tanning bed or in the sun. We as humans have problems sometimes, and they are unavoidable. Just as people become addicted to alcohol or drugs or smoking the sun is very similar. It is doing something to our brains. It is causing us to want more and more of it. The problem here though is that there is a stereotype that we just do this for fun. We don’t care that we might have skin cancer one day, and we are acting in a stupid manner. The truth is most of us can’t help it. People are always looking down on others and we always want to better ourselves. If the media is showing that the best of the best are tan, then that is what we want to be. Most people don’t want to be white, because that is not what is “popular” right now. And the fact that it has even been proven medically that the UV rays are addictive makes it even more contradictory to the stereotype. We can’t help it! Maybe if the media were to change its view on skin tone then we wouldn’t need this craving of sunlight so often. In history people use to want to be as light of skin tone as possible. They would proceed to use leeches on their skin to suck out the blood to make them look pale. So even then people were subjected to ideas of what looked good or appropriate. Today it is to be tan. Therefore, every movie we see, every TV show, commercial, magazine, ad in the mall is trying to get us to join in on the tanning party. They advertise all kinds of make ups to make us darker and sprays and deals for tanning salons. It is always there trying to suck us in and we can’t avoid it.

Bad Day

Today I had a bad event happen to me. Something very personal and surprising. It has really made me lose my concentration and it happened right when I was trying to fix my paper. So I have a feeling my paper tomorrow is actually in worse condition than it was in my first draft. I think I am going to have some work to do this weekend. A lot of work. I have two exams on Tuesday and my essay due on the same day. On top of that at the school I have to volunteer at next Wednesday I have to make up some dance and dance in front of a bunch of judgmental middle school students. I am absolutely not looking forward to next week. It is probably going to be the worst week of this semester so far. Once it is over there will literally be a weight lifted off my shoulders. I will feel free and look forward to my upcoming vacation to Hawaii. I can't wait, especially because after that there is only about two weeks left of school and I am officially done with this semester. I hope next semester is not so overwhelming. I feel that I have so much work this semester it is ridiculous. There is so much reading. I think between all my classes I probably read at least 200 pages. There is so much I can't even comprehend everything I read. I am starting to get behind on things and it is causing me to freak out. Luckily I am going home this weekend, so maybe this will give me a chance to catch up on everything and be able to study for my two exams next week without and distractions. It will be nice to see my family too, and I hopefully will take my nephew to a corn maze Friday night. I am so tired right now and still upset about the news from earlier. I just need to finish this stuff and get some sleep. I am not even going to all my classes tomorrow I need to pack, and I have other things that I need to get done. O well, I think I can miss one, it won't be that big of a deal. Well good night everyone, hopefully tomorrow will turn into a positive day.

Going to kill D2L

I decided if D2L was a person I would literally kill him right now. I am so frustrated right now it is ridiculous. Where the hell are my classes? They have disappeared since this morning. Why are they not back up? They have had all day to fix this stupid issue. I mean com'on people have things due! I have something due tonight that is worth more points than I can miss to get an A. What a joke. If my teacher does not allow me to complete it tomorrow, I will literally be livid. Don't they have people that specifically work on this kind of stuff? Most likely no one is even looking at the issue right now because it is a Sunday. I highly doubt people are at school right now trying to fix this. It is bull crap because like me a lot of us probably have things due tonight! This stupid little thing is going to affect me, if I don't get an A in that class, then my GPA will not go up, then I can't get into the law school I want, then I can't get a job at a good firm when I graduate!!!!! I think is one of the maddest moments I have had in an extremely long time. I need to get out of this room right now and go vent somewhere else. Everything is now pissing me off. I think it is a good idea for everyone around me currently to stay clear of me, because I am not happy at all... I even finished my English essay early to post to my group mates today and I wasn't even able to do that. This is absolutely ridiculous. I don't understand what the heck is taking so long to fix this problem. If it was something that affected their pay they would be on top of the issue immediately, but they really could give a crap about us. I think writing this blog is just causing me to get even angrier. I just need to finish this up so I can get in my Pj's and get into bed and be the dork I am and finish Lord of the Rings. Maybe that will actually relax me a little bit. Maybe if I play a little Farmville my mind will ponder away from this stupid D2L crap. It is going to be a long week I think, with the amount of tests and homework I have coming up. I was just saying in my last blog how I need to avoid stress, and this is definitely a stressful blog right now. I need this week to come to an end pronto. I want to just go home on Thursday and hang out with my family. I am going to take my nephew to a corn maze, watch some scary movies, and prepare for the big week of tests following. Ugh it needs to come super soon!!!!

Stress

So I decided I just need to relax and forget about everything. I get so stressed out sometimes over nothing. I mean really, I am a 20 year old enjoying the life of college and no job. What could there even be to worry about? I get so worked up about the future. I mean com'on I am already worrying about two exams I have in more than a week. I think, oh shoot when am I going to have time to study for it? Am I going to do as well? Will I get as good of a grade? Ugh.... I get so worked up over it. Then I just get stressed over other silly things, like being homesick or worrying about what I am going to do in the future after I graduate. I know it is so dumb to get upset about things like that, but I really do. I just need to let it all go and stop worrying. Because when I worry, I stress. When I stress, I worry more causing more and more stress. It is just a cycle that continues and continues. If I just stop with the worrying all together then the stress should go away too. Today should be a worry free day. I am going to do avoid doing any homework and just take the day as it comes. My family is coming down for the game. I get to sit with them in the normal section at the football game, and they are going to take me to eat and shopping for a little bit. To me, that sounds like a pretty stress free day. Tomorrow on the other hand... We will have to wait and see. See, here I go again. I am already worrying about all the crap I need to get done tomorrow. I just need to forget about it all and think about the present time, not what is going to happen in an hour or two or tomorrow even. And if I am going to look at the future I should be happy that I get to go home in less than a week and see my doggies. So there it is... I am enjoying time with the family, and the dogs in a week. Stress free.... I hope so at least... The good part about not going home next week is I get to avoid stupid Halloween. I don't have to go out and spend over 50 bucks on some stupid costume I will never wear again. Instead I can relax at home and watch a scary movie or something. I might actually take my 9 year old nephew to a haunted corn maze. That should be fun actually. Halloween is such an over rated holiday though, a lot like New Years Eve. It is just a holiday for people to make money off of. Good thing I won't be participating in that besides a little haunted attraction.

Wow

Wow, I can't believe it is already the weekend. I think this semester has been flying by. But it scares me that it is going so quickly and we really don't have that many days left, because I have so much left in my classes. At least two exams per class, multiple papers, a couple presentations, and just a bunch of other readings and stuff. Here we go again... I already cannot concentrate. Living in a room of four people makes it really difficult to even listen to myself think. I am hoping that maybe I will have some alone time later today. I just want to lounge on the sofa and finish my movie with no one interrupting me. I get to go home in about a week, which is pretty exciting. I really miss my dogs and my big bed and TV, and just a whole bunch of other stuff. Woohoo, I just found out everyone is leaving. FINALLY some alone time!!!!! I can't deal with everyone's complaints today. I am just not in the mood for it at all. The worst is when I am trying to study or finish a reading assignment and someone brings up the stupidest comment and then everyone starts to laugh and elaborate on the topic. I am so uninterested that I find it extremely irritating and cannot participate in the fun. Tomorrow should be a pretty good day though. Another football game with the family. I get to avoid the student section tomorrow which will be nice. It is comforting to know that I actually get to avoid standing on my legs for three hours straight and getting shoved by a mass group of students who all seem to be taller than me and I don't think see me, or just don't really care. So, anyways, it will be nice to be in the adult section. I am lucky enough that my parents bought an extra season ticket that I can use whenever I want. I don't have to worry about sneaking up to sit with them, like I do at the basketball games. The best part too, I won't have to use those disgusting portable bathrooms. I think it is pretty lame that that is all they give us. It is just gross. The school is the one who talks about not spreading germs and coming to class sick, but then they make us use those nasty things. Those are probably one of the dirtiest things out there. I think the school sometimes forgets that we are the ones who make this school, without us there would be nothing. So now that I am alone, I can finally relax a little bit and catch up on some of the homework I still have not done. I swear it never ends, there is always something new I have to finish.

Volunteering

Hello everyone. Today was an alright day. I volunteered at the middle school right by the rec center, and it made me realize how lucky I am. Most of the students there were Hispanic and came from very low income families. I felt pretty bad leaving the school knowing most of them were off to bad homes and families. It made me sad to see the younger girls turn around and smile at me during class, and I knowing that I am only going to be there for a couple weeks. I think they get excited when someone young comes in to help them out. Then I feel guilty just turning around and leaving them. I bet they have that happen to them a lot. Finally someone comes into their life to help them, but then they just turn around and leave. The reason I am volunteering is honestly because I have to for one of my classes. I am almost to the point where I feel so bad that I might end up staying at the school for the rest of the semester just because I want to help out so badly. It was crazy how many questions these kids could have for one person. Where did I come from? What do I do for fun? How do I like school? What do I want to do when I am older? And I even got the, how old are you question, because I look like I am sixteen according to them. They were in awe that I was 20. Considering most of them were at least or taller than me. I asked one of the young girls where she wanted to go to school when she was older. She kind of shrugged her shoulders, as if going to college was not an option for her. Most of them barely could speak clear English. And many had shoes that were torn, or jackets that were ripped. They loved sports though. Especially pro football. One of the girls said she loved U of A football, but has never gotten to go to a game, only has seen it on TV. It is so sad... I wish I could just take them and hang out with them for a while and take them to do the things they have always wanted to do, but never got the option to do. I guess most of us don't appreciate how lucky we are. We have parents who care for us, most of us have some sort of money, at least to pay for college, and we have clothes that aren't ripped or torn. The kids were required to wear uniforms, most complained about. I think it is a good idea though, because it does not show their lack of money. Volunteering is something I have never really participated in. It makes me really appreciate what I have got. I actually enjoy helping out the kids, even though I am not a big fan of kids. I think I am something they can look up to and hopefully make even the slightest positive impression in their life.

Computer Geek

I just realized that I am a computer geek. Not only do I get excited when I get to smell a new electronic item straight out of the box, but how I get so excited when I get to plug something in new. I am a geek. That is pretty explanatory. Ever since I was little, I have enjoyed playing with electronics and computers. I think it may have to do with the fact that my dad is an electrical engineer so throughout my entire childhood I have been surrounded by computers and wires and cords. My mom hates it. Every little drawer or cupboard has some kind of cord shoved inside of it. I can not help it though. I find electronics so exciting. I am the kid in class reading about how to connect something through wifi with a spoofing program, or looking constantly about the new technology of laptops that is coming out. I already cannot wait to get a new laptop and I have only had this one for not even two years. There is a new Dell I want, it has a light up keyboard. I think that is pretty fascinating. I also saw that a new Microsoft program has been developed called 7. It sure could beat this Vista crap. Vista has so many problems it is ridiculous. Not only does it take over thirty minutes to start my computer up, but it crashes and freezes all the time. This was not a cheap computer either. It is too bad that after only a coupler years I already need a new one. I don't understand how they can create a program that is so flawed. I probably will have to deal with this one though until I graduate. I don't really need a new one right now, but to get one would be pretty exciting. Maybe at Christmas, my dad will surprise me with something. I feel like he does that a lot. I won't ask for something then all of a sudden their is some new electronic thing sitting in front of me. I always have to ask "what is this?" Eventually I fall in love with it and wonder how I could have lived without it. I don't think I would have been able to function before computers were invented. What would I do with my life all day? I would be pretty bored and honestly probably not be able to function. Computers are what this world revolves around now. I can't imagine going a day without computers in our society. This country would literally crash. People depend on computers for their jobs and school and pretty much to function in life. People even have computers on their phones now. They are with us 24/7. So yeah, pretty much I am a big computer geek. I am the one my roommates always come to when they don't know how to work something. I am kind of like that geek squad from Best Buy.

Another day

Well, the family is officially gone and now it is down to crunch time to try and catch up on everything I have missed in the past week. How I so wish it was a week ago right now. If it was I would be in Cabo. Even if it was raining while I was there I would take that over this. I really hate sitting in my stuffy room just working on readings and homework all day. It starts to get really boring. I get so distracted. I would much rather have actual homework over reading. I have so much reading between all my classes that after I am finished with it all, I hardly remember anything I read. I even start to get extremely bored with highlighting, so I eventually stop doing that. So that looks like what I am going to be doing for the next oh 48 hours. I have a Netflix movie waiting for me in my mailbox right now, but I know if I go and get it I will start watching it and blow off my work, which really needs to be caught up on. I am a little behind because of my vacation, but it was all worth it, just as long as I get everything done. This was a good weekend though. It was nice having the family here and meeting everyone else's families. It was also a good football game this weekend. It was pretty hot at the beginning but once it cooled down it ended up being a really exciting game. I have to be quite honest, after reading so much already this morning, my mind is already pretty blank right now. I really don't have too much to right about, and I guess because it is early I have nothing to complain about yet. I guess I could complain about something, I would really like to have my room to myself right now. I just hate not being able to set the air, or lights how I want them. There is always someone else who wants it differently than me, so being alone would be kind of nice. I feel like no matter what time of day it is there is always going to be at least one person in here. Next year will be better. Hopefully I will have my own room and bathroom. I am pretty tired right now too. I spent the last two nights in the hotel with my parents because I thought having a big bed would be nice. But when it comes to having two older people snoring at the top of their lungs all night, I would take the smaller bed. I have been waking up around four in the morning both nights now because of them either coughing or snoring or making some weird noise. I hope when I get to be that age I do not have to deal with that. It really sucks, I do not know how people can sleep with that. I am already worried about when I go to Hawaii and have to share a room with them four six nights. I think I will need to remember to bring headphones or ear plugs. Otherwise I am going to be falling asleep on the beach every day. So now I am debating if I want to continue doing my reading or take a break and watch my movie. Either way I am still going to have a lot of homework I need to get done. I swear it never ends. There is always something I can be doing. I really cannot wait until this semester is over.

Sports and Weather

Good morning everyone. It is finally the weekend, and finally a game day. Football games are probably one of the more fun things that goes on during college. I could not imagine going to a school without sports or fans that support it. Just waking up on a Saturday morning and seeing all the motor homes parked around campus, everyone wearing red, and hearing the band play is what makes a part of college so great. I guess I have always been into sports. Not so much playing, because honestly I am not very athletic, but watching I think is so much fun. It most likely started in high school because I was on the cheer squad. Therefore I was forced to go to every game, home and away. I learned a lot from just watching, and since then I have come to love watching sports, even on TV. I think college basketball is my favorite though. College football is fun, but sometimes the four hours it takes to go through one game can be a bit long. It also sucks having to stand up during the entire game. I think that is pretty bad when you have to be packed like sardines in hot sweaty weather with hundreds of drunk people around you. I usually tend to sneak off to a different area where I can at least sit down. That is the one good thing about basketball. I have always had regular tickets so I never have had to sit in the student section. I never understood what the point of standing up the entire time is. My legs get way too tired, and I just find it pointless. I think it is because the front row stands then from there every other row is forced to stand also. Maybe one day I should ask the front row to sit, so then everyone else will too. So anyways, I am pretty excited for the game today. We have had so many away games that I almost forgot it was football season. It is too bad it is going to be really hot out though. It is the middle of October, shouldn't it be getting cooler by now? I think every year it gets to be warmer and warmer later on in the year. Eventually the summers will be so hot no one will be able to go outside and winter will become our summer. I have to admit though, I do not really care for cold weather. Last semester I had an 8 AM and it was horrible having to get up when it is dark outside and walk completely across campus at 730 in the morning. I was always the weird girl who wore a snow jacket when it is 60 degrees. I think I get cold anywhere below 80 degrees. I think that is because I have lived in Phoenix my whole life. And I also think Tucson gets colder than Phoenix does. I mean that ten degree drop really makes a difference. I think around 85 is perfect.

Family

So today is the start of family weekend, a great time to spend with the family. It is an excuse to actually enjoy myself relaxing instead of going out. I was going to just go to my place for the night, but then I realized how nice it would be to sleep in a larger bed tonight. So here I am now with the family at a hotel just relaxing. I think I get too spoiled by my family. Most kids go off to college to grow up or mature and get away from their parents strict rules. Not me... I think I see my parents almost every other week. Between them coming down for the football games and me going to Phoenix for a weekend get away, I keep in contact with them quite often. I was never the type of kid who wanted to leave home and get away. I know some people who all they do is fight with their parents when they are with them. Going to college was a life saver for them. No longer were they subjected to arguments and curfews. They were free from it all. I guess I was just different. I always got along with my family, except for the few brat years I went through during middle school and early high school. Since then, I grew up, and have wanted to be around my family every second I could. I guess I always looked at it this way: friends and parties and all of that stuff are going to eventually go away. My family on the other hand will not. I know I can always go back to them if I need help with anything. I guess that is why I don't get upset at stupid girl things or friend things or anything like that. I just realize how superficial it all is, and come to the conclusion that my family is one of the more important things in my life. I just hope that when I become a parent my children will have this same respect for me as I have for my parents. Parents will always do anything for you. At least mine will. If I am upset, they are always there for me. Right now, I am enjoying sitting here completely. It is a great experience in life to have a well loved family.

What I've been doing

Hello again! It has been a while since I have wrote in one of these. I just got back in town last night. It was an extremely long day. I was up at six on the cruise ship, went and ate breakfast, and was off to the airport by 8:30. I left San Diego by 10 and was back in Phoenix by 11. I was so exhausted by that point I just wanted to take a nap, but some of my relatives came in town for family weekend a little early, so I spent the day with them. By the time I was actually able to get going to Tucson I was a mess. I was tired, my stomach hurt, and I was stressing about the test I had today. I started balling my eyes out when I had to leave. I think the lack of sleep was finally getting to me. Once I was off though I felt a bit better until about half way I thought I was going to get sick. Luckily I was close enough to Casa Grande and was able to pull in to the Wendy's there and sit for a little bit. Once I got back to Tucson all I wanted to do was go to sleep, but of course me being big on grades I forced myself to study till at least midnight. It was all worth it though. It was a great cruise. I did absolutely nothing the entire time. I pretty much ate, slept, and laid by the pool. The first day I laid by the pool I got really burnt, I think because I have not been in the sun much lately here. The burn was pretty bad and now I am facing the consequences of it. I am peeling, and it is disgusting. At least I got a temporary tan though. The five nights flew by though. It seems like I was just packing the night before to leave for the trip. I wish I could go back and spend another week there. Cruises are probably one of the best vacations anyone could take. I recommend it to everyone. The food is great, I slept great, I forgot about everything I normally would worry about, and it was just a good time. Luckily though I have another trip coming up in four weeks. I am off to Hawaii. That should be fun, something different. I have not been there in a very long time. So I think I will appreciate it this time. Until then I am back at school and I need to get back into the routine of things. I got my test over with today, and I hope I did pretty well on it. We will have to wait and see. Plus this weekend is family weekend, so that should be nice to spend some time with them. It is always nice to get away and go with the family for a little while. It should be a good weekend.

Movie Reaction

To be quite honest I thought the movie was a little bit slow. I felt that it had a decent plot and could have developed into a good story, but the narrating was monotone and seemed a little repetitive. Also, I am leaving for my cruise tomorrow, so I was a bit anxious to get out of class and drive back to Phoenix. The movie did allow me to see something I never knew existed. I know this was quite a while back, but I was completely unaware that areas in the South were in that extreme poverty. It makes me realize how lucky I am today to have what I have. It was really upsetting to see the young children especially. It even surprised me to see some of the people much older now still missing teeth and looking in bad condition.

I think when Barret asked the question about who should tell the story, I think she had two different ideas on the answer. I believe she thinks at some points the only ones who can truly tell the accurate accounts are those who lived it, and experienced the horrible times. I also think she believes her and the filmmakers are the only ones who can tell it to the public. She believes they are only ones who can get the story out to the public. If it were not for them then those who experienced it would not be able to have anyone to tell the story to and to get it out there.

Anxious for class to end

I really need today to be over. This class right now is horribly boring, and I am freezing, tired, and becoming very anxious to leave. I still have another 25 minutes, and each minute is seeming more like an hour. I think the time is going by so slow, because I want to go home very badly. I am leaving today, unfortunately I won't be home till at least seven. The traffic getting out of Tucson around five is really bad. I think it takes me over a half an hour to get from Cherry to the freeway. What a joke. It would be nice for one day that I chose to go home I could get to the freeway in less than ten minutes. I mean it is only a couple miles. It should not take thirty minutes. Sometimes the traffic gets so bad that even if the light is green I cannot move forward because it is so far backed up, that I would get stuck in the intersection. Anyways, at least I get to leave. I only get to stay at home for a night though, then tomorrow becomes an extremely early morning. I am leaving for my cruise tomorrow and our flight leaves around 8. That means with being an already 45 minutes away from the airport and with rush hour traffic and having to be at the airport at least an hour early because of the security issues, I am going to have to leave by 6:30. To me, that is pretty early. I don't like to wake up past 10 hardly ever. Plus I still have to get some stuff together and get ready, which means I am going to be awake at like 5. It is going to suck, I will need to get into bed early. I am pretty tired today so I do not think that will be a problem. I had the most difficult time sleeping last night. I think our house mom turned off our air conditioning because it has managed to be under a hundred degrees outside now. So I guess according to her we don't need air anymore. Plus I had soda yesterday and for some reason that seems to keep me up all night, plus all the M & M's I consumed all night. So I did not even manage to fall asleep till around two and was awake around eight. So I am pretty sleepy, but at least I did not have any exams this week. I also managed to get most of my homework done for the next week also. I decided what I did not do, I could finish it later, it is just readings. Anyways it will be really nice to sleep in my big bed tonight and watch some TV before I go to sleep. Hopefully I will catch up on it so I am not tired tomorrow. I have to be ready for my cruise! I cannot wait!

Having things we can't get

Have you ever wanted something so bad but it just seems completely unrealistic to get. Well that happened to me today. I saw an article on MSN for teacup piglets. They are the most adorable things I have ever seen. I desperately want one, but I know that will never happen. Plus, what the heck do I do with a pig when I am in college? I could let it frantically run around my sorority, but I think the rest of the girls in my house might disapprove. The little pigs are so adorable though. They are smaller than a cup of coffee. They only grow to be like a foot tall. It's like have an extremely cute puppy the entire time it grows up. We say my puppy at home kind of looks like a pig. He doesn't really have a tail, he is spotted like one, and he has the ears. His fur is especially like a pigs. Its very thin and just looks like one. Besides the pig there are always something that I want that I just can't have. I think it would be fun for one day to just have all the money in the world and be able to go buy anything I want. Too bad that is extremely unlikely to happen in my lifetime. I think even people who could possibly have everything already are still searching for something else. We as humans have desires and we are constantly trying to fulfill them. There is always something new and better out there that we want. It must be really horrible to be those that can never have anything they want, let alone food. I think the people who cannot afford anything don't even think about still material items. They think about how to survive. For them a day with food is lucky enough. For us we need three meals a day at least. If we don't have that, then it really really sucks. I could not imagine being homeless or poor or anything like that. Imagine living on the streets is absolutely awful. Not being able to ever take a shower, or have clean water. I just cannot imagine how these people do it. It is really unfair that there are so many wealthy people out there who can get anything they want. They could care less about the people who can't even eat. It is really really sad. I just hope that one day if I have enough money, I can help those out who really need it.

What to talk about

I want to talk about the effects girls have, especially throughout high school, that other girls cause them to have either by peer pressure, meanness, seclusion, or popularity contests. I want to talk about how girls are picked on emotionally throughout their teenage years by even their friends who all want to be better than each other. Girls at this age are mean, and they enjoy getting satisfaction from being mean to others.
I need to talk about the racial prejudice that Arab Americans face in society today. Ever since 9/11 people who are Arabic have faced difficult times in America. It is hard having a family from the Middle East and listening to people in the same room as me say they would like to blow them off the planet. People are so ignorant, and only take on views of what the media or their friends tend to believe.
I think I should talk about the differences between the rich and the poor. I think it is horrible that there are people out there with absolutely nothing, and then I hear the story about the girl who just lost her four thousand dollar purse. I think the poor get ignored too often, and it is something that should be talked about.
This would be difficult to address all these topics, because they are so different. The only things they have in common are that in each of the situations people are feeling physical and emotional stress. From the example about the girls, they are being picked on causing them emotional problems. The Arab Americans are facing prejudice causing them to feel terrible about themselves. And in the poor issues, the poor are suffering a great deal emotionally because they are doing extremely without much.

I would have to say a in the category of power and lack of power I have sometimes felt that it resonates to me. When I talk about power though, I am thinking about power meaning money wise. I am not rich at all, and when I come across some students or friends who are I tend to feel powerless. It sometimes sucks to not be able to go buy something expensive or even know what a particular brand is, because I cannot afford it. To me, getting something new, even if it was extremely cheap is a big deal. I think the first moment this really happened was when I came to college. In high school I was considered rich, but coming here with many kids from out of state, I felt they were the ones with the power. I felt powerless. I think one scene that really stands out is when I showed someone something I bought from a cheap store. Not only did I get a look of disgust, but also a comment that lead me to feel powerless. It was in my dorm room freshman year. I was excited to get a pair of white shorts from Old Navy. I thought they were really comfortable and of course they were really cheap. After I was excited I got them, I looked at my friend and took them out to show her. The look on her face was disgusted. She said “I would never shop there.” Not only did my feelings become crushed, but I felt like she was in power. I did not know what to say, so I just slowly turned around and walked away. That feeling that I was weak, and could not afford what the rich and powerful could was terrible. The look she gave me made me feel worthless. I never knew it was such a big deal to buy a pair of shorts that were not a hundred bucks. After that I began to notice it more. I saw more kids had more than me. I knew more meant power, and less meant powerless.
I would be able to look up statistics of different universities to see the economics each have. I have a feeling the less prestigious universities may be the ones with more money. The ones that won’t have as much would be where more minorities attend. I would specifically look up the economic statistics at my University. I could even survey the people I hang out with, to see how much of an impact they actually have over my power depending on their income source. It would be interesting to see some studies on the influence of money on power. Does money really create power? I am sure there are some psychological studies out there answering this question.

Grumpy Day

Well I am going out of town this Thursday, where I will not have any internet access, so I am going to be writing a couple blogs a day for this week. Today has started as a kind of crappy day. Not only did I have to come back to my twin bed, dirty room, I got stuck in the worst traffic. I saw the sign when I was driving in Phoenix that said it was going to take me over 50 minutes to go about three miles. Great... So I sat for over an hour in bumper to bumper traffic with an old lady behind me honking that I was not scooting up far enough. I guess according to her I am supposed to be hitting the person in front of me. She honked and through up her arms, cut me off, then decided to slow down and drive in the slowest lane. I do not understand some people. I cannot come to terms why they think it is fun to go fast and cut me off, but then decide they want to slow down and get behind a semi truck. It just does not make sense. Anyways so it took me almost three hours to get from Phoenix to Tucson which normally only takes me two at the most. What a waste of my time. So I did not get back till extremely late last night, pushing off my homework even later. I had to stay up till one in the morning, and still did not complete everything that was due today. I finally went to bed, passed out, I was extremely exhausted, but then managed to have dreams about my homework and Netflix player. I was so excited when I got the player but now that I am using the schools crappy internet it won't work. I can't use UAwifi, because it won't allow me to enter a user ID and I can't use UApublic because I can't hit the stupid accept button. What a bunch of crap. I swear, this school sometimes tries to do the dumbest things to make everything so complicated for students. So now I have to figure out some other alternative. So now today has started, I'm tired, woke up stuffed up, and just plain grumpy. I think people are starting to notice it too. I can't even get myself to give a friendly hi in the morning. I would rather just put my head phones on and not talk to anyone. This cruise cannot come any sooner. I need to get away from everyone, my phone, the internet, school, just everything. I cannot wait.....

So today was kind of a frustrating day. Not to the point of being a bad day, but just a little frustrating. It started off pretty good but then led to stress about my homework I needed to complete. I managed to make a large list of what I need to do, and it has become a huge problem. I am quite frustrated with home much reading I am assigned to do. I find it very difficult to understand how teachers think it is perfectly fine assigning over a hundred pages to be read by the next class. I do not really get what they are thinking. I guess they would rather assign readings than teach us. So after I became bitter about my homework, I had to take my first exam for my online class. Completely sucked... I knew most of the answers because it was open note, but it was timed, so by the time I found an answer I needed I had already used up like five minutes. Then it came down to one last long essay question. Of course I had no clue what the question was even asking, so I freaked, made up something from the book in hopes I will get some points. It sucks because this class is only such a small amount of points. If I miss hardly any I will already be down to a B. It's kind of lame. If you get a 90% then I still get a B, not an A. I don't understand that. An A is an A. Who said that people can just create what percentages are certain grades. I think it is absolutely ridiculous. O well, what can I do. I guess we will just wait and see how I did, in hopes I did not lose too many points from the essay question. I really need that A, I need all A's this semester if I want to get into a good law school. It really will suck if the reason I don't make it into a good law program is because I got a B in one online class because of an essay question I could not figure out. The other problems I had today include that I have to go back to Tucson tomorrow. This weekend went by so quickly and I can't believe I already have to go back to school. Yuck.... But! The good news is I get to turn around and leave again on Thursday for my cruise. I cannot wait to just sit out in the sun with no worries and bake. So for now I guess I will finish up as much reading as I possibly can. I think my mind is fried from reading and studying so much this week. Then I will get to play with my doggies for one last time. Sad...

Great Day

I went home this weekend, and it was greatly needed. Sometimes I just need to get away for a while, and relax in the comfort of my room and family. Being around the same people constantly starts to get on my nerves and I eventually just want to punch the wall. So coming home is a nice break to get away from it all. Next week I am actually going on a cruise. I am quite excited, a little worried about missing class, but I think I have it all worked out. So pretty much I get two weeks of relaxation and get away time. When I come home I literally do nothing. I sit around, hardly change out of my sleeping clothes and watch hours of television. Where I live at school I don't have cable so it is extremely nice to come home and catch up on everything I have missed. Anyways, today has been a pretty good day. I got to catch up on some sleep and sleep in without anything or anyone to wake me up. I then got a lot of homework done that I have been stressing about. I did not think I was going to have time to get it all done, but it turns out I have been pretty time efficient. So after I did my homework I played with my dogs. This is probably my favorite thing to do when I come home. Not having a dog around at school gets pretty quiet and lonely I think. Last night my dog got hurt though, I was pretty upset. He seemed to be doing better today though. After I played with all four of them I relaxed some more and enjoyed running a few errands with my family and a nice dinner. I like to come home and spend time with the family. It is nice to have someone spoil me once in a while. Even if it is spending time at Target or a grocery store with them I pretty much enjoy it. I got a nice dinner tonight; some shrimp and a sweet potato. Definitely better than the fried chicken and mush I get weekly at school. Then I came home finished some more homework, watched some TV with my mom and now just finishing up this blog. Pretty soon I will get into bed early compared to my 1:00 am time at school. I am going to enjoy a movie, not sure which one yet and let the nice day come to an end. Ending my day and night with a movie and bed is pretty relaxing also. It allows me to just forget about everything. I just watch my movie, and blank out all my thoughts about school or homework or everything else bothering me. Now I just need to finish the rest of my homework for this weekend, so I can enjoy my cruise to the fullest next week. So good night everyone, hopefully you had as great a day as I did today.

Feeling Guilty

I was just reading other peer's blogs and have come to the conclusion mine is the most random pile of complaints out of everyone. Everyone else seems to just talk about stuff that we went over in class or something that is inspirational to them. Mind is pretty much about nothing... I guess I am just not meant to be a great writer, but that is alright, I love to just let out all my feelings on here. I think this helps me avoid complaining to my roommates and family. When I start to complain to them, I think they start to tune me out and I end up just complaining to myself. I also have a problem with needing reassurance. Whenever I have homework and I do not do it, I start to feel guilty. I worry it is going to pile up, then it will overwhelm me, and then I won't have time to prepare and study when it comes to an exam. I am going to be extremely overwhelmed this week. I am trying to complete all my readings and homework this weekend for both this week and the following. I am going on a cruise next week and the last thing I want to do or worry about is homework. I mean com'on who wants to do homework when they can be enjoying themselves eating or laying out in the sun. I would rather not. And I have come to the conclusion that even if I bring my homework, I know I will not work on it. There will always be something else that will seem better. So in that case, I just need to finish it before I go, so I don't have anything to worry about. Good idea huh.... Let's just hope I finish it. I feel so guilty that I am even on my computer right now and about to go watch a movie instead of finishing my readings. I get nervous that I might forget to do it or something. Who knows... Hopefully I will get it done. I am at home this weekend, and I also tend to not do homework here either. It is kind of like a mini vacation, where I feel like I don't have to do anything. Well hopefully, I am extremely bored tomorrow and I just do my homework. I will cross my fingers.